Brief delay

[brainofck]

I may not get to posting anything real tonight, so I thought I would relate a small tidbit.

A couple of weeks ago, I was going to a sex-toy party.

And a certain person, who may name herself in the comments, told me to keep my eye out for the hand-job assistor, sheath thingies. Some of them have pearls in them to increase stimulation.

And she related a story, presented as true, about a woman who presented such a toy as a gift to her husband who was in Afghanistan at the time.

She reminded me of the story as I was working on this little mini-splurge of projects this week.

Anyway, I said...

I'm sure there's an off world story there somewhere...


So then I used the damned thing, and I was all thinking Oh, yeah, Daniel, do that thing with your teeth! and the damned bead just rocketed across the room and got Lorne right in the damned eye. And I know this because apparently Feretti was watching, the goddammed kinky bastard, what the fuck barracks did he do basic in? And he was the one who said, and I quote here, "rocketed."

So, in closing, I hate you and your stupid Chistmas present.

Love,
Your Little Colonel

PS: You cannot wait to try this thing! When I get home, we're gonna lube you up, slip it on you, and I'm gonna suck your genius brain right out through your dick. JO

UPDATE: In case you don't know what the heck I'm talking about...



And here's a link to a naughty website...

Pearl Piston

Comments

still laughing over this

[zats-clear.livejournal.com]

Now does this happen to fit your table of doom? Glad you saw fit to post it in your own journal, since no one goes to mine to actually read! LOL

Yes, *raises hand, outs self*. And I want to make it clear, it was not my husband. It was the sex toy consultant's boyfriend. Enlisted boyfriend. Poor guy who did not get a room to himself. And had to remember her in silence. And in company. Who rudely awakened one of his teammates bouncing a pearl off the top of his head, as it were.

*dies laughing yet again at the visual*
*loves CK's story*

Re: still laughing over this

[brainofck.livejournal.com]

does this happen to fit your table of doom

Heh. Alas. None of the shapes listed is "tube."

*snickers*