brainofck

Trust Daniel to do the research. And right now he was waving a well-thumbed copy of What to Expect the First Year at Jack from across the kitchen island.

"See, it's right here under 'Breastfeeding Myths.' See. 'Myth: You can't breastfeed if you have small breasts...'"

Jack was feeling clammy and ill. He was rummaging through the fridge looking for some sort of quick protein. He grabbed a slice of American cheese and unwrapped it. When he bit it, he looked as he always did, at the imprint of his teeth.

"Daniel," he said as he chewed the rubbery cheese, "this isn't really the time."

"'Reality: In no way does outward appearance affect the productino of milk or a mother's abilitly to dispense it. Breasts and nipples of all shapes and sizes can satisfy a hungry baby. Inverted nipples that don't become erect when stimulated may need some advance preparation...'"

"Daniel! Not the time!" he barked in his best drill sergeant's voice, wondering how many drill sergeants had contemplated killing an annoying life partner over breakfast while fending off morning sickness.