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[personal profile] brainofck
I did a beta this morning for someone who described herself as being terrible at writing sex scenes. I spent a long time on my response to her about how she could possibly improve what she had already written. I wanted to keep the thoughts, particularly because I am hoping to reawaken whatever part of my porn brain writes SB/VM.



Regarding writing the sex. There's nothing wrong with what you did. It's just not enough. You want sizzle. This is what you've been building to, with all the angsting and the tension, right? This is a first time story, and first time stories are supposed to leave the reader with her eyes glazed over and panties that need changing, right?

I suggest an upsetting and difficult exercise.

Just sit for awhile and imagine these two lovely men kissing. Touching. Getting in bed together and touching a lot more. Nekkidness. The joyful interaction between experience and inexperience, all tied up in lust and new love.

Since you're writing Viggo's POV, let him help you. What kind of lover is Sean? Gratifyingly strong, aggressive and dominating? Surprisingly gentle and considerate? Sweetly tentative and nervous? Doing his best despite just having had the flu, and it's still amazing anyway? Some mix of the above? Does Viggo thrill to this role, bottoming? Imagine how great it will be to get Sean under him the next time? Help Sean out? Just let him take control? Remember you aren't limited to complicated things like penetration. There's always mutual hand jobs and frottage for a couple of horny men, just trying to get the first rush of lust out of their system, and that might be more natural, since Sean has been ill, and he doesn't really know what he's doing.

Not to make this more difficult, but can you take it even farther? What do they say to each other? Is it just a lot of moaning and panting and Viggo! and Sean! and harder! and please?! Or do they lightly banter? Self-depricatingly tease? (If you think of any good lines, write them down immediately. Don't want to lose good dialog to your sex crazed hormones.)

Anyway, after you've traumatized yourself imagining their hot sweaty bodies all wound up together, hold the visions in your head and try to write it as completely as you can. Really invest some thought and time in it. Get as much as you can on the page, even if you think it's crap. More is better, you can edit it later . Definitely think more, more, more. Even set yourself an arbitrary word count goal. I will write 1000 words of sex. Then come back to it in a day and read it. Try to make your own heart skip a beat with what you wrote, not just what's in your head. Try to make your fingers tingle.

I know this will be hard. Thinking of them having sex. In gorgeous, colorful detail. But I have faith in you that you are up to it. :)

If you need inspiration, go here http://brainofck.livejournal.com/9295.html. Read Drinking Games, at the Lair of the Evil Bitches, or Trust by Shriney, or Morningstar, or maybe Dutch Courage, by the Evil Bitches again. Or #10 of Shut Up. All very hot sex scenes.

See what you can do, and I would be MORE than happy to read it again.

On the other hand, if trying to write a solid sex scene really not working, here's what I'd do. Try to think of a PG-13 ending, that will leave your readers flushed and happy. Sean has been pretty sick. Could they go to bed and snuggle, with some groping and kissing, and happily fall asleep in each other's arms, Viggo looking forward to all the fun they are going to have together when Sean is feeling better? That's definitely a valid option. And it could be a really good ending to this story, if you can do it convincingly.

Date: 2006-01-23 05:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] green-grrl.livejournal.com
Is it wrong for writing advice to make me squirm? ;-)

Well, yes, but...

Date: 2006-01-23 05:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brainofck.livejournal.com
Heh. You can see why I thought it might revivify parts of my brain... :) Started trying to think of an SB/VM PWP to write right then.

Re: Well, yes, but...

Date: 2006-01-23 05:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] green-grrl.livejournal.com
Hee! Dooo eeet!

Date: 2006-01-23 06:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ramlatch.livejournal.com
Sneezing all over yourself when you're trying to have firsttime-sex would be terribly awkward heheh

Date: 2006-01-24 05:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rotpunkt.livejournal.com
Reawaken your VS/SB-writing-drive? Yes, yes, YES!!! I loved your VigBean, I´d be more than happy if you get back to that pairing, and maybe I have an idea to support the reanimating-process of your VigBean brain cells... check your mails the next days, please! (Will not be able to write today, but I´ll write you as soon as possible to the address in your user-info).

Date: 2006-01-31 10:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] uisgich.livejournal.com
This is a brilliant introduction to writing smut!!

It should be required reading for all new writers :)

Also, I went back and reread Drinking Games for the first time in ages. Classic smut.

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