You wouldn't let me do that, would you?
Dec. 14th, 2005 10:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brainofckI was reading a little light SG-1 orgy!fic tonight. (Sorry, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
green_grrl. Your OTP thoroughly violated.)
My first thought was, wow, this could be anybody. All the personalities completely lost. And she did Sam's POV, but I wasn't buying that as Sam for a second.
But still, very readable, the sex was hot. Could have been worse.
But one thing I did notice. She wrote, "Men and women of both sexes..." *facepalm* If I wrote something like that, you'd point it out to me right away, wouldn't you, gentle readers?
Also, one day I'm going to go back and fix Dark Muse. In the original one I committed a sin that bothers me probably a couple of times a month. The "breath s/he didn't know s/he'd been holding" cliche. EVERY SINGLE WRITER has done it. Oh, you know you have! I did it in my very first piece, have FOUGHT it in several pieces since then, and may still have to go back and excise it from that thing. *cringes thinking about it*
So call me on the really overdone cliches, too, if I let one slip by.
:)
green_grrl. Your OTP thoroughly violated.)My first thought was, wow, this could be anybody. All the personalities completely lost. And she did Sam's POV, but I wasn't buying that as Sam for a second.
But still, very readable, the sex was hot. Could have been worse.
But one thing I did notice. She wrote, "Men and women of both sexes..." *facepalm* If I wrote something like that, you'd point it out to me right away, wouldn't you, gentle readers?
Also, one day I'm going to go back and fix Dark Muse. In the original one I committed a sin that bothers me probably a couple of times a month. The "breath s/he didn't know s/he'd been holding" cliche. EVERY SINGLE WRITER has done it. Oh, you know you have! I did it in my very first piece, have FOUGHT it in several pieces since then, and may still have to go back and excise it from that thing. *cringes thinking about it*
So call me on the really overdone cliches, too, if I let one slip by.
:)
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no subject
Date: 2005-12-15 03:54 am (UTC)There aren't men and women of both sexes . . .? Buh?*shiny and innocent grin*
No, I get what you mean. The writer is stupid. But there are men and women of both sexes (as I'm sure you know). Depending on how you want to think about the meaning of that sentence.
*thinks*
*brain pops a little*
Hm.
That's a badly worded sentence even if it has the slightest hint that it could be gender anarchish.
If this doesn't make sense, sorry . . .
no subject
Date: 2005-12-15 04:20 am (UTC)I promise I will smack you if you sin. :-)
butts in
Date: 2005-12-15 04:48 am (UTC)Why must that sound vaguely pervy to me?
*eyedart*
ogles your butt
Date: 2005-12-15 05:24 am (UTC)wiggles my butt
Date: 2005-12-15 05:28 am (UTC)*bats eyes innocently*