Bright, Rich, Sweet: Chapter 3

[brainofck]

Mosey over to CJ's place to read our co-authored chapter.

Title: Bright, Rich, Sweet (3 of 6?)
Authors: muck_a_luck and cocoajava, posting in cocoasmut
Pairing: Daniel Jackson/Jack O'Neill, Jack O'Neill/OFC
Rating: NC-17
Summary: A vampire cannot live by (chicken) blood alone. Jack becomes a vampire.
Content/warnings: Does one warn for bloodplay in a vampire story? Het content
Words:Approx 25,000-30,000 overall, 5,237 this part
Disclaimer: If anybody is planning a script like this for SG-1, we are certainly not going to claim any rights to it. However, we'd be delighted to work in a co-writing/consulting/first-reader/advisory-type capacity, with my fee to be negotiated at that time. :D
Archive rights: Absolutely none. Our journals only. cocoasmut and brainofck
Beta: Thanks to green_grrl and zats_clear for beta services and editorial advice.

Chapter 1
Chapter 2


Bright, Rich, Sweet: Chapter 3

Comments

[melayneseahawk.livejournal.com]

I kind of want to write my comment here rather than over there. Do you mind?

[brainofck.livejournal.com]

You're the person with the monster food. :)

[cocoajava.livejournal.com]

She has monster food? Kewl!

[melayneseahawk.livejournal.com]

Teehee.

Ok, I hate to say this, but I didn't like this chapter. It really felt, to me, that it veered into all the icky cliches of vampire fic without the tongue-in-cheek feel of the previous chapters. The middle was much better than the beginning, but every time the chick said "childe" I rather wanted to rip out my eyes. Or hers. Either way.

And the ending? Yeah, I get that she's moving on to another fad, but really? I wanted to hear about how this was affecting Jack, not her. I liked the bits were Daniel poked back in to give him hell, but how Jack still hung on until she started to question him. I'm fine with having an OFC, I completely understand her place in the plot, but I didn't really care what happened to her, and continuing to follow her story was rather out-of-place with the previous chapters.

Though I do wonder what that aura thing is about...

Still love you, and I'll read the other chapters when they come. :D

[cocoajava.livejournal.com]

*waves* Just wanted to let you know not to give up! You'll be back to the Daniel and Jack action now! This was a side-shoot story, a bit of an experiment and just two friends having fun collaborating. There's no obligation to like it - I do understand [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] has a fan base that's come to expect a certain style and level of writing from her. I place you back in her more than capable hands now.

A quick comment- I just wanted to nod in agreement at your catch of this being quite a walk through cliche-ville. She lives a cliche life, absolutely - that was deliberate on my part, but of course can't be to everyone's liking. Jack is the anti-cliche that spun her world 'round.

Anyway! Thanks for giving it a look see and letting us know what you thought. Onward!

[brainofck.livejournal.com]

Oi. How's a girl supposed to set up the OTP UST and angst, then? :D

Sorry the vampire fic cliches pushed the wrong buttons. It amused me to put Jack into this club with these people, and I'm pleased with how our girl turned out. It's probably good she grated on your nerves. She was sort of supposed to.

It makes me a little sad, though, that you don't care what happened to her. Well, not "you" personally. One. That one might not care what happened to her. For one thing, it reflects on Jack and who he is. We know the relationship was consensual. But she doesn't anymore, because of what he did. He fucked with her head for his own selfish reasons. I think she deserved a post-script, since Jack walked away and may never look back.