The Battle for the Pants
Dec. 13th, 2007 11:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brainofckBecause sometimes you need to laugh til you cry, and it doesn't matter if it makes sense or not.
The Battle For The Pants
On the table, Daniel washed his pants. He had been busy with the pants for hours and now wanted nothing more than a sour cuddle or a depressed massage from his lover Jack.
He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his black Jack appeared at the door, grinning sympathetically.
"Put down the pants," Jack said awkwardly. "Unless you want me to wash that pants on your ass."
Daniel put down the pants. He was glowing. He had never seen Jack so nosy before and it made him smelly.
Jack picked up the pants, then withdrew a dogtags from his finger. "Don't be so glowing," Jack said with a nosy grimace. "A symbiote bit my penis this morning, and everything became fantastic. Now with this pants and this dogtags I can awkwardly rule the world!"
Daniel clutched his lonely penis stupidly. This was his lover, his black Jack, now staring at him with a nosy finger.
"Fight it!" Daniel shouted. "The symbiote just wants the pants for his own black devices! He doesn't love you, not the sour way I do!"
Daniel could see Jack trembling stupidly. Daniel reached out his ass and touched Jack's finger awkwardly. He was black, so black, but he knew only his lonely love for Jack would break the symbiote's spell.
Sure enough, Jack dropped the pants with a thunk. "Oh, Daniel," he squealed. "I'm so sour, can you ever forgive me?"
But Daniel had already moved on the table. Like a child seeing the light of the stars for the first time, he pressed his ass into Jack's finger. And as they fell together in a fantastic fit of love, the pants lay on the floor, smelly and forgotten.
To Delightedly Wash
Daniel and Jack were celebrating a sour Valentine's Day together. Daniel had cooked a lonely dinner and they ate on the table by candlelight.
"My darling," Jack said, stroking Daniel's finger, "I have something for you." He gave a box to Daniel. "It is but a fantastic token of my smelly love."
Daniel opened the box. Inside was a black pants! He gazed at it awkwardly. Then he gazed at Jack awkwardly. "It's depressed," Daniel said. "Come here and let me wash you."
Just then, a swampy crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a child seeing the light of the stars for the first time. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a nosy voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Jack read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."
They stared at each other sadly as the crone cackled some more. Daniel's ass began to tremble. Then Jack shrugged, pulled out a book, and hit the crone on her penis. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" Daniel said and kissed Jack sympathetically. "This is a glowing Valentine's Day!"
They stupidly burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
And then they washed each other all night long.
1000 Book Symbiotes
Daniel paced stupidly back and forth. Black dread filled his heart. Jack should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. Oh, my smelly love, Daniel thought. Where could you be?
Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Jack had been taken hostage by Nosy Ass, a supervillain who had the city in a state of lonely terror. Daniel fainted dead away, like a child seeing the light of the stars for the first time.
When he came to, there was a bump on his penis and the black dread had returned. "Jack, my glowing honey bunny," he cried out sadly. "What is Nosy Ass doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing delightedly as he washed him in the finger.
In the midst of all the terror and tears, Daniel remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 book symbiotes, then whatever you wish for will come true.
Daniel ordered in a supply of book and set to work, folding symbiotes until his penis was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last symbiote when Jack walked in the front door.
"Jack!" Daniel screamed and threw himself into Jack's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 book symbiotes and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing on the table. He kissed Jack awkwardly on the finger.
"Actually," Jack said, pulling away sympathetically, "I was rescued by the Fantastic Pants. He's a new superhero in town." Jack sighed. "And he's really swampy."
The black dread came back. "But you're depressed to be back here with me, right?"
Jack checked his watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Fantastic Pants for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay sour, baby." He left and the door banged behind him.
Daniel choked back a sob and started folding another symbiote. Then he went out and got drunk instead.
Sadly Tripping
Daniel tripped along awkwardly. He was on his way to meet his lover, Jack, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a symbiote hopping along, carrying a dogtags in its mouth.
Daniel was almost on the table when he came across a sour cake, lying alone on a depressed plate. "That must be a treat from my nosy bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked fantastic, so he ate it.
It gave him the most glowing tingling sensation in his finger. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Jack.
When Jack came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Daniel cried stupidly.
"Your penis! And your ass!" Jack said. "They're lonely! Can't you feel it?"
Daniel felt his penis and his ass. They were indeed quite lonely. "Oh, no!" Daniel said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that sour cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Jack said. "I got you a pants. It must have been that black man who lives nearby. He acts a little delightedly, ever since he washed a book."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Daniel sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Jack said sympathetically, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your penis is really smelly like that."
"Really?" Daniel dried her tears. Daniel kissed Jack and it was an entirely swampy sensation, like a child seeing the light of the stars for the first time.
They spent the night having entirely swampy sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.
OK. Must stop now. *wipes nose*
Please to enjoy Halrloprillalar's Drabble Generator. http://prillalar.com/drabbles/
One recalls that she also wrote the stunning My First Stargate Story, a must read for all beginning SG-1 writers.
The Battle For The Pants
On the table, Daniel washed his pants. He had been busy with the pants for hours and now wanted nothing more than a sour cuddle or a depressed massage from his lover Jack.
He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his black Jack appeared at the door, grinning sympathetically.
"Put down the pants," Jack said awkwardly. "Unless you want me to wash that pants on your ass."
Daniel put down the pants. He was glowing. He had never seen Jack so nosy before and it made him smelly.
Jack picked up the pants, then withdrew a dogtags from his finger. "Don't be so glowing," Jack said with a nosy grimace. "A symbiote bit my penis this morning, and everything became fantastic. Now with this pants and this dogtags I can awkwardly rule the world!"
Daniel clutched his lonely penis stupidly. This was his lover, his black Jack, now staring at him with a nosy finger.
"Fight it!" Daniel shouted. "The symbiote just wants the pants for his own black devices! He doesn't love you, not the sour way I do!"
Daniel could see Jack trembling stupidly. Daniel reached out his ass and touched Jack's finger awkwardly. He was black, so black, but he knew only his lonely love for Jack would break the symbiote's spell.
Sure enough, Jack dropped the pants with a thunk. "Oh, Daniel," he squealed. "I'm so sour, can you ever forgive me?"
But Daniel had already moved on the table. Like a child seeing the light of the stars for the first time, he pressed his ass into Jack's finger. And as they fell together in a fantastic fit of love, the pants lay on the floor, smelly and forgotten.
To Delightedly Wash
Daniel and Jack were celebrating a sour Valentine's Day together. Daniel had cooked a lonely dinner and they ate on the table by candlelight.
"My darling," Jack said, stroking Daniel's finger, "I have something for you." He gave a box to Daniel. "It is but a fantastic token of my smelly love."
Daniel opened the box. Inside was a black pants! He gazed at it awkwardly. Then he gazed at Jack awkwardly. "It's depressed," Daniel said. "Come here and let me wash you."
Just then, a swampy crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a child seeing the light of the stars for the first time. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a nosy voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Jack read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."
They stared at each other sadly as the crone cackled some more. Daniel's ass began to tremble. Then Jack shrugged, pulled out a book, and hit the crone on her penis. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" Daniel said and kissed Jack sympathetically. "This is a glowing Valentine's Day!"
They stupidly burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
And then they washed each other all night long.
1000 Book Symbiotes
Daniel paced stupidly back and forth. Black dread filled his heart. Jack should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. Oh, my smelly love, Daniel thought. Where could you be?
Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Jack had been taken hostage by Nosy Ass, a supervillain who had the city in a state of lonely terror. Daniel fainted dead away, like a child seeing the light of the stars for the first time.
When he came to, there was a bump on his penis and the black dread had returned. "Jack, my glowing honey bunny," he cried out sadly. "What is Nosy Ass doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing delightedly as he washed him in the finger.
In the midst of all the terror and tears, Daniel remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 book symbiotes, then whatever you wish for will come true.
Daniel ordered in a supply of book and set to work, folding symbiotes until his penis was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last symbiote when Jack walked in the front door.
"Jack!" Daniel screamed and threw himself into Jack's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 book symbiotes and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing on the table. He kissed Jack awkwardly on the finger.
"Actually," Jack said, pulling away sympathetically, "I was rescued by the Fantastic Pants. He's a new superhero in town." Jack sighed. "And he's really swampy."
The black dread came back. "But you're depressed to be back here with me, right?"
Jack checked his watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Fantastic Pants for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay sour, baby." He left and the door banged behind him.
Daniel choked back a sob and started folding another symbiote. Then he went out and got drunk instead.
Sadly Tripping
Daniel tripped along awkwardly. He was on his way to meet his lover, Jack, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a symbiote hopping along, carrying a dogtags in its mouth.
Daniel was almost on the table when he came across a sour cake, lying alone on a depressed plate. "That must be a treat from my nosy bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked fantastic, so he ate it.
It gave him the most glowing tingling sensation in his finger. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Jack.
When Jack came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Daniel cried stupidly.
"Your penis! And your ass!" Jack said. "They're lonely! Can't you feel it?"
Daniel felt his penis and his ass. They were indeed quite lonely. "Oh, no!" Daniel said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that sour cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Jack said. "I got you a pants. It must have been that black man who lives nearby. He acts a little delightedly, ever since he washed a book."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Daniel sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Jack said sympathetically, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your penis is really smelly like that."
"Really?" Daniel dried her tears. Daniel kissed Jack and it was an entirely swampy sensation, like a child seeing the light of the stars for the first time.
They spent the night having entirely swampy sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.
OK. Must stop now. *wipes nose*
Please to enjoy Halrloprillalar's Drabble Generator. http://prillalar.com/drabbles/
One recalls that she also wrote the stunning My First Stargate Story, a must read for all beginning SG-1 writers.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-12-14 06:30 am (UTC)Ah, there's no sex like swampy sex! :-)
no subject
Date: 2007-12-14 06:37 am (UTC)I think she needs to write about their lives as pirates. :-)
no subject
Date: 2007-12-14 02:56 pm (UTC)Like a child seeing the light of the stars for the first time, he pressed his ass into Jack's finger.
...
"Your penis! And your ass!" Jack said. "They're lonely! Can't you feel it?"
Hey, that actually happens. ;-)
Daniel ordered in a supply of book and set to work, folding symbiotes until his penis was sore and he could hardly see.
You're doing it wrong.
I've seen a few of these drabble, but didn't realize they were from Halrloprillalar. I love her!