What to Do?

[brainofck]

Title: What to Do? (1/2)
Author: muck_a_luck, posting in brainofck
Pairing: Daniel Jackson/Jack O'Neill
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Unexpected phone sex.
Content/warnings: Bad, naughty, unprotected, completely unsafe '70's sex...
Spoilers: None.
Words: 1,629
Disclaimer: If anybody is planning a script like this for SG-1, I'm certainly not going to claim any rights to it. However, I'd be delighted to work in a co-writing/consulting/first-reader/advisory-type capacity, with my fee to be negotiated at that time. :D
Archive rights: Absolutely none. My journals only. muck_a_luck and brainofck
The Matrix: The Matrix is located here. This one is Sound.

For my loyal rugbytacklers, I have done a Stargate crash course located here.

---

Jack popped the top off his beer and settled into the armchair as he picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Jack! Wasn't sure you'd be home yet."

"The General let us out early. What's up?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to do anything tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow's Saturday."

"Exactly my point. If all you're planning to do is watch some loud, pointless event involving a round object and a goal, I could crash on the couch and read. I'm three months behind on Linguistics Today, and there's this amazing article..."

"You may come over and read whatever you want, but you may not bring Linguistics Today."

"Why not?!"

"The last time you brought Linguistics Today, you were making weird grunting sounds all through the game."

"Well, it was an article on glottal stops..."

"And then you finished that one, and moved on to moaning expressively."

Daniel huffed in exasperation.

"Comparative tonal... Fine, I'll bring a novel. Or maybe we can do something else."

"Daniel, I have a question for you. And I want you to be brutally honest with me. Don't pull any punches."

"Okaaayy...."

"Are we a couple?"

There was a long silence on the other end. When Daniel spoke again, he sounded cool, maybe even hurt.

"Jack, if I'm crowding your personal time, you could just tell me."

"No! That's not what I meant! But if we've somehow become a couple without me noticing... I just want to figure out what we're doing. Cause if we're dating, we're doing a crap job of it."

Jack settled into the cushions more comfortably and took a long draught on this beer while Daniel thought about that one.

"Are you sure you want to put labels like that on our relationship?"

Daniel sounded thoughtfully amused.

"So it's a 'relationship' now, is it?"

"You know perfectly well what I mean, Jack. We get along fine as we are. Do you really want to elevate this to us being a couple and dating? Have you ever even considered dating a guy?"

Jack smirked to himself.

"Well, I wouldn't go so far as to call it dating..."

Another long pause from Daniel.

"And exactly what would you call it, then?" Daniel sounded skeptical now.

"If I told you, you'd think less of me." Jack said, trying to sound just a little mournful.

"That's hardly likely." A chuckle.

"Well... I've never dated a guy..." He left the sentence dangling.

Daniel made an impatient sound.

"But I really, really like to suck a guy off."

That got him a surprised snort of laughter.

"When, exactly, have you done that?"

"You think I haven't?" Jack couldn't keep the laughter out of his reply.

"Huh."

Jack smiled at him. "OK. The first time I ever did it was - wow. A really long time ago. Now I feel old."

"Jack..."

"I was in Germany, back in the early '70's. Just got my wings. And there were these clubs. A bunch of guys had been, but I was curious and I put on my civvies and I went on my own."

He had Daniel's attention now. Jack wished he could see Daniel's reactions, but he'd have to settle for what he could tell just by listening to him.

"So anyway, guys were hitting on me all night. Dancing with me. Copping feels when they could get away with it. Then this one guy propositioned me and dragged me off to the toilet. By that time, I knew I wanted it, and I wanted it bad. He locked the door behind us, and I went down on my knees. When he unzipped, he was hard but not too big, and I just did it. Opened up and took him. And he didn't go easy on me. He grabbed my head and totally skull-fucked me. He was gagging me and I couldn't breathe and by the time he shot his load my eyes were watering like I was crying, but I loved the taste of him. I wanted his cum. I swallowed it like it was... I don't know. The best thing I had ever tasted."

Jack stopped to see what Daniel would say. He was amused and delighted to hear a little catching of breath on the other end.

"You sure you should be saying stuff like that over the phone," Daniel replied after the briefest pause. His voice was calm, as if they were talking about nothing more interesting than the weather, but Jack could hear the slightest light breathiness that even Daniel couldn't hide from someone who knew him as well as Jack did.

"All I'm doing is waxing all lyrical and nostalgic about the good old days..."

"The NID could be listening at any time," Daniel replied.

"Yeah, well, the NID could have a fiber-optic mini-cam tucked away in your duct work watching you wank off while you talk to me on the phone."

That got him a rueful chuckle.

"I'm not."

"Huh," Jack said, mimicking his friend perfectly. "Well... I wouldn't mind if you did. And you sure sound like you could. And you certainly don't sound like you're done yet."

"Jack, I think this phone call has gotten out of control..."

"So, when he was done, I expected him to just zip up and leave," Jack continued with his story as if he had never stopped.

Daniel groaned on the other end.

"But the little bastard. He just turned around and assumed the position. He said, 'I know it's what you want, flyboy.' There I was, still on my knees, his ass in my face, and yeah, that was exactly what I wanted. And I could see, up close and personal, that he'd already been done at least once that night. So I did it. I just took it out and rammed it up his ass so hard he squealed. Then he said, 'I knew you'd be worth the trouble' or something like that and I just let him have it. It was amazing. It was nasty, disgusting and hot as hell. And when I was done, he invited me back to his place to show me the rest."

Daniel's breathing was a quick, delicate sound in Jack's ear. If he hadn't been touching himself before, he most certainly was doing it now. Jack took another long pull on his beer so that he could listen to the perfect almost-silence.

"Come on, Daniel. Let's finish you off," Jack murmured.

"He took me back to his place. He showed me the ropes. Heh. Tied me down and paddled me. Then he taught me the fine art of being fucked senseless with a dildo. Then he climbed up and stuck his cock in me. I got off three times tied to that little bastard's bed, and he never once touched my cock. Then, at four in the morning, he kicked me out and I limped home, reeking of sex, and it was days before I could sit properly again."

Right around the mention of his being on the receiving end of a dildo, Jack caught a little hiccupping sound, followed by the tiniest whimper.

"So, was it good for you, too?"

"You should ask the NID to send you the tape," said Daniel, his voice rougher and his tongue definitely lazier than usual, the bite of precision gone and his usually rapid-fire delivery slowed down to something much more languid.

Jack wanted all those little sounds for his own. He wondered if it would be as easy to get Daniel into his bed as it had been to get him to touch himself. He smiled at the thought.

"So, back to my original question."

"There was an original question?"

"Yes. Are we dating or what?"

"What about you? If you aren't sitting over there with a weeping hard on in your khakis, I'm going to feel very insulted."

Jack laughed.

"Oh, I've got a woody for you, all right. But I want to do things with it that can't be done one-handed, so let's resolve this whole couple issue first, so I can go take care of business."

"OK. Fine. Fiber-optic mini-cams and phone sex with you aside, I've never done anything, really, with a guy. "

"Huh."

"It's true! You know me Jack. I got married by accident and spent my wedding night begging my fantastically beautiful bride to put her clothes back on and teach me about interstellar vowel shifts in Egyptian."

"Rawr!"

"You see my point, I think."

Jack shrugged, as if Daniel could see that over the phone.

"So why don't we try a first date? I feel gypped that we haven't had the joy of a first date."

"What did you have in mind?' Daniel sounded suspicious, but curious.

"Dinner and a movie is a classic."

"We can't do dinner and a movie as a date."

"I don't see why not. We go to dinner together all the time."

"Yeah, but first dates are supposed to involve all sorts of eye-gazing, and stupid flirty conversation, and incidental touching, plus hand holding, and if they go really well, even some kissing and groping in the theater."

"Ah. Not so clueless after all."

"Well, one dose see TV, no matter how one tries to remain uncorrupted."

Jack snorted at the idea of Daniel being uncorrupted.

"Fine, we'll do our first date here, then. I'll cook."

There was a long pause as Daniel considered it.

"Should I bring anything?" He asked finally.

"Nope. Got it covered. Seven?"

"OK. I can't wait."

Jack could hear the smile in Daniel's voice.

"Great. Now, you hang up first."

Daniel snickered on the other end, and he did, the bastard! He hung up!

Jack laughed as he put the phone down and finished his bottle in one long chug.

Part 2- Always Finish with Chocolate (Or The Mummy Returns)

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