Reality check

[brainofck]

I'm not a teetotaler, or anything, but I drink maybe two-four glasses of wine a year, and that's it. Husband is same and has been our entire marriage, though I don't know if he drank more heavily as a young man before I knew him. I have never known anyone in my immediate family - husband, brother, parents - to be drunk. My friends and social circles are for the most part made up of people who did not drink heavily, and I do not believe I have ever associated with anyone who I ever witnessed being drunk - though I think a few of my close friends have had benders when I was not with them.

I have never been drunk, though with my (non-existant) alcohol tolerance, if I have my annual Christmas Party glass of wine without eating first I can get pretty warm and happy.

Drunk people make me uncomfortable.

I have known people who were alcoholics, so regularly drunk or drinking heavily. But that was a state of being for those people. I *expected* them to be drunk whenever I interacted with them.

In my entire life, I have only closely associated with ONE person who drank to reduce stress. Like, I'm feeling miserable, let's get drunk, kind of drinking. Or, I have to do this stressful thing, I'll have a drink first, kind of drinking.

Am I unusual in this respect? Because in fiction, lots of people self-medicate for stress in this way. And I have never ever in my life thought, wow, I wish I could get drunk or have a drink or whatever because of something unpleasant in my life. Is this a tool writers use to manipulate characters? Or is this a part of reality that I just don't get because of the life I have led?

Comments

[green_grrl]

No, there are definitely people like that, and it has been reflected in media, too. Remember all those old shows and movies with people smoking and swilling booze? Smoking has been pretty thoroughly legislated against. The dangers of alcoholism and the ill health effects of alcohol have also been spread pretty wide so it's less common to see it in movies or RL, but it still is socially acceptable to go to a bar to drink, in good times or bad. And if someone's emotional pain is bad enough/someone's genetic chemistry is susceptible enough/someone's surrounding influences are enabling enough, altering the brain chemistry with alcohol can seem like a good idea.

You are fortunate to have been surrounded by an environment that didn't promote alcohol. I've been fortunate to get my dad's very infrequent imbibing genetics rather than my mom's family's alcoholic genetics. I indulged A LOT 15-21, and was incredibly lucky to get bored with it without suffering addiction or injury. Numerous members of my mom's family literally had their lives destroyed by alcohol, from liver failure to suicide.

People associate in clumps. Since I tapered from party girl to social drinker to rare drinker, I haven't spent much time around drinkers. I have a new friend at work who is very much, "Let's go have cocktails!" and it's weird to be around. It reminds me that not everyone is a non-drinker. One of my best friends, who has also had to deal with alcoholism in her family, had to move out of Texas because drinking was so pervasive in the culture and she found it so unhealthy.

Anyway, yeah, it exists, but they're not people who are going to be in your circle because you are wearing a different set of lenses in viewing life. For an author whose dad or best friend regularly came home from work and poured a drink, though? Seems perfectly normal to write a character that way.

[brainofck]

People associate in clumps

This totally makes sense to me and was why I raised the question. I have never really seen the gradation between essentially non-drinkers and alcoholics. It's basically one or the other in my life. But I'm looking at SO MANY people writing about using alcohol for stress reduction and thinking, that can't *just* be a plot device, can it?

Oh, and hmmm. Reading your answer again, I can think of one other person, from my work life, who would comment in FB about going home and having a couple of beers after a stressful day. And she did it often.

[sid]

I drink, my parents drank, most of my friends drink. I think mostly we do it because it tastes good/feels good/contributes to fun times/enhances a meal. OTOH, I'm sure I've said many times, "I need a drink!" I guess to me it means relaxation and comfort and a lift to my mood. A nice cup of hot tea might mean that to someone else!

I can remember a few times where I really did set out to get drunk, because of something that had me upset. In the end, I'd get distracted by something else that occupied my brain pleasantly, and wind up hardly drinking at all. *g*