Whee! I'm just getting back into town to find this lovely treat waiting for me. It's an evocative story with a completely unexpected approach to the trope. While the earlier wing story (http://brainofck.livejournal.com/245454.html) was wacky and irreverent, this one is melancholy and haunting.
"I think he's lonely, sir. I think he misses a real field command. I'm waiting for the day he just flies away."
Love how you convey Jack's loneliness and isolation here. Not only are Major Lief's observations sad and telling, but also having them recounted from a third party pov removes the reader from Jack and makes us experience his new distance for ourselves: he's flown out of our reach - great writing choice.
Daniel stared up into the clear sky. He fell asleep dreaming of pyramids. A falling dream wrenched him awake to find himself under the shade of sky blue feathers, protected from sun and sand and salt water, Jack's breath ruffling his hair and dampening his cheek.
Love how you capture both the beauty and the strangeness in this image. Here and throughout the fic, I like the way you show the current of unease in Daniel at Jack's increasing alienness right alongside the evidence of their love for each other. Nice tension in those oppositions; makes the piece interesting and complex, and gives it an edge of sadness.
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Date: 2008-07-20 12:56 pm (UTC)"I think he's lonely, sir. I think he misses a real field command. I'm waiting for the day he just flies away."
Love how you convey Jack's loneliness and isolation here. Not only are Major Lief's observations sad and telling, but also having them recounted from a third party pov removes the reader from Jack and makes us experience his new distance for ourselves: he's flown out of our reach - great writing choice.
Daniel stared up into the clear sky. He fell asleep dreaming of pyramids. A falling dream wrenched him awake to find himself under the shade of sky blue feathers, protected from sun and sand and salt water, Jack's breath ruffling his hair and dampening his cheek.
Love how you capture both the beauty and the strangeness in this image. Here and throughout the fic, I like the way you show the current of unease in Daniel at Jack's increasing alienness right alongside the evidence of their love for each other. Nice tension in those oppositions; makes the piece interesting and complex, and gives it an edge of sadness.
Thank you so much for writing this!