Adjustments, Part 2
Feb. 12th, 2006 09:21 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brainofckTitle: Adjustments, Part 2
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
muck_a_luck, posting in brainofck
Pairing: Daniel Jackson/Jack O'Neill
Rating: PG for most parts, NC-17 eventually
Summary: This story is a close cousin of Metamorphosis, except in this story, Daniel really has changed into a woman.
Content/warnings: Het content.
Disclaimer: If anybody is planning a script like this for SG-1, I'm certainly not going to claim any rights to it. However, I'd be delighted to work in a co-writing/consulting/first-reader/advisory-type capacity, with my fee to be negotiated at that time. :D
Archive rights: Absolutely none. My journals only.muck_a_luck and brainofck
The Matrix: He. The Matrix is located here.
For my loyal![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
rugbytacklers, I have done a Stargate crash course located here.
Adjustments, Part 1
"You are so outta here!" Sam crowed, as she came bouncing into his quarters.
The look on his face must have tipped her off.
"He is, right?" she said, turning to Janet.
"No, I'm not. But it doesn't matter, because I'd rather not leave, anyway."
"Daniel, this is exactly the reason I think you need a specialist."
"And you know perfectly well that I don't do shrinks anymore. Plus, the specialists in this kind of thing counsel people who think they want to have a sex change. There is no specialist in the world on the topic of a person who has had a perfect, complete change in sex swap against their will."
"I'm not letting you off this base until you agree to get help with this, Daniel! It's going to be a big adjustment for you, and you shouldn't be trying to do it alone," Janet insisted. "I don't care if there aren't any specialists. There are people who can help you keep your sanity. I can recommend really, really good therapists..."
"I already said I'd rather stay here anyway, Janet. Ra and Apophis help me, what the hell am I going to tell my neighbors?!"
"See..." she began again.
"Exactly, Janet. I'm not leaving. I'll move in next to Teal'c."
Sam cleared her throat.
"Janet, a word."
The two women stepped into the suite bathroom. Daniel scowled at how Sam towered over Janet. Sam towered over him, too. He hated it.
He flopped back onto the bed, closing his eyes, and refused to feel guilty for acting like a petulant child. He wasn't going back out into the real world, where no one would know that he was a man. Where guys would flirt with him at the grocery store and "undress him with their eyes" at Starbucks, and try to chat him up at Border's. He just couldn't face it.
He'd rather stay here on base, where everybody knew who he was. Where he could be a headfuck for every new male SGC employee. Where even if his enemies might mock him, at least they knew who he was underneath. He could handle mocking. He could not handle people who just saw him as another pretty little piece of ass. Or even people who saw him as a sweet girl they'd like to buy a cup of coffee. He just couldn't.
No. Just couldn't.
He realized they were standing over him.
"OK, Daniel, here's the deal. You, me and Janet. Girls' night out, couple of nights a week."
"I'm not a girl. And I already said I'm not going out."
"OK. Fine. Not girls' night out, then. Adjustment coaching, from two people who can show you the practical ropes."
"Don't need to know the ropes, Sam. I appreciate the offer, but I'm staying here."
"Daniel," she wheedled.
"Don't bother, Sam," Janet said shortly. "Daniel, you get out from under this mountain and let us help you, or I won't recertify you for field duty. You're not stepping through that Stargate again before I give the go-ahead, and I'm not doing it until I think you can go through there comfortable in your own skin, and not constantly distracted by your own tits. You got it?"
That made Daniel open his eyes and sit up. That thought hadn't actually occurred to him before.
"General Hammond won't recertify me for field duty, anyway," he said uncertainly. Would he? "Besides, Jack won't have anything to do with me on his team."
Janet snorted.
"He will if General Hammond says he will. And I don't see why the colonel wouldn't want you back on SG-1. You and Jack are our first contact team. You need each other. The SGC needs you. General Hammond is dying to put SG-1 back into action. But he won't if I say you're not fit for duty. You can sit here 28 stories underground and translate what your colleagues bring back, and poke at artifacts they found on digs they excavated. You can have dinner in the commissary with Teal'c every night he's not on a mission and he can keep you up to date about what's going on out in the universe. Or you can go yourself. It's your choice."
"Come on, Daniel," Sam encouraged him. "Come upstairs and get some air. We can go to that sushi place you like..."
"No. I cannot go out where every guy from the bartender to the busboy is going to be giving me the hairy eyeball."
Sam smiled encouragingly.
"OK. Then we'll go by the Magic Wok, pick up an obscene amount of cheap Chinese takeout and go back to your place."
Daniel hesitated. Now that he was thinking about going out, he suddenly felt a longing to be under the open sky again and to sleep in his own bed. And he was certain that he couldn't stay under the mountain if Janet wouldn't let him get out through the gate. He'd go crazy. He sighed heavily.
"OK. But somebody has to give me a lift. I came with Janet."
The apartment was approximately how he'd left it, the usual debris of personal paperwork laying around on the coffee table and the least comfortable chair, reference books open on the couch, old newspapers and magazines on the kitchen table. But someone had come in and dealt with the kitchen, which was spotlessly clean. He braced himself to face the fridge, but it had been cleared out and a few of the essentials actually restocked.
He turned in surprise to Janet, who was shoving her way in with an armload of bags that Daniel had noticed in the backseat of her car.
"Did you do this?"
She looked embarrassed.
"Sam and I did it. We thought you would have enough to deal with when you came home."
Daniel leaned against the counter. Two of the most brilliant scientific minds of their time, an astrophysicist of probable Nobel caliber if all her work weren't classified, and a physician and diagnostician unsurpassed, possibly in the galaxy, had cleaned his fridge and washed his moldy old dishes.
He suddenly needed to sit down.
"What's in the bags?" Sam asked, gesturing with her chopsticks.
"Stuff," Janet replied around a mouthful of moo shoo pork.
"Like what?" Daniel asked.
"Like stuff I thought you shouldn't see until you had a good dose of liquid courage." She eyed him warily. Between them they had killed off the first six pack of Tsingdao and were now drinking plum wine. She must have decided he was as courageous as he was going to get at this point.
She opened the first bag, as Sam watched with interest. Daniel was interested, too, but mostly he watched with dread.
"You need new clothes," she stated flatly.
"No I don't," he replied.
"What do you mean, you don't?" Sam laughed. "Everything you have now looks like you stole it from your big brother or your boyfriend. You cannot go around dressed like that."
"I don't see why not," Daniel growled.
"Well, for one reason," Janet said firmly, "If you dress like that you will draw attention to yourself. And it will make you look like an adorable vagabond and you will have the college boys all over you before you know what hit you."
Daniel blanched.
"Maybe I could just steal some BDUs from work," he suggested.
"Ha! Trust me, the attention that would attract would be worse than the college boys," Sam snorted.
Daniel slumped back into the couch and wrapped his arms around himself. He had the terrible feeling that this was just going to get worse and worse.
"Be nice, Sam. Here, pay attention, Daniel, there really is a solution." She opened her first bag. "You just need to dress normally. Of course, guys are going to notice you. It can't be helped. But you can blend in, be subtle, and learn to deal with the attention. It really isn't so bad. Here, look. Jeans."
She tossed them over to him.
"Try them on. I had your measurements from all that data we were collecting. You're just a little slimmer and taller than me. I think those should be just right."
Daniel took them from her and stood, heading for the bedroom.
"Oh give me a break, Daniel. There's no point changing back there. We're all the same now," Sam said, taking a sip of her wine.
"Alright," he said, trying to sound calm and collected, but feeling like the ground was falling out from under him. He decided to blame the alcohol. He uncinched his belt and stepped out of the too long khaki pants he was wearing, only to realize that he had on an old ratty pair of boxers underneath. He reached for the jeans.
"Wait! Hang on. Don’t try them with boxers, they'll look ridiculous."
Janet reached into another bag and, to Daniel's horror, took out a package of Hanes Her Way.
"Oh, don't look at them like that. Here!"
She ripped open the package and flung a pair of black cotton bikini cut panties at him. He caught them by reflex and almost dropped them. He was not supposed to be in possession of women's underwear. He just wasn't.
"You cannot expect me to actually wear these?!" he managed to choke out.
"Well, there's almost no point in wearing those," Janet patiently replied. "They're huge on you, the fly gapes open – everything hangs out. You'll find them very annoying. Wear clothes that work for you Daniel. You'll be happier."
He couldn't deny that she had a point. The boxers had bugged him so much the first day that he had been going commando under his BDUs ever since, and that hadn't been so pleasant either, though he had sort of gotten used to it.
He sighed and with an act of will, shoved the boxers off and quickly slipped the panties on. For some reason he was vaguely surprised that Janet and Sam neither tried to check him out as he changed his clothes, nor burst out laughing at him wearing panties.
He quickly slipped into the jeans.
The fit was perfect. The buttoned up and felt just right.
"I need a mirror," Daniel said.
"Bedroom," Sam agreed, and she and Janet brought the rest of the bags as they followed behind him.
He lifted up his sweater to look at the jeans in the mirror.
Maybe Janet was right. Maybe there was another option. The jeans fit well, but not tightly. They wouldn't attract any undue notice. They were probably the best camouflage he could hope for. In the mirror behind him, Janet held up a simple black t-shirt. He took his sweater off before he thought the better of it and found himself staring at his own bare breasts in the mirror.
He couldn’t stop the blush, but he did manage not to wrap his arms around himself in embarrassment. He just grabbed the shirt from Janet and slipped it on.
That was a bit more of a shock. The t-shirt was fitted, and nipped in at the waist. Unlike the jeans, it did show off his curves. So he went from half naked chick to hot chick in a matter of seconds.
He looked himself over and knew he was never going to be able to pull this off.
"I think I need something stronger than beer," he said, and went back out to the living room.
"If you're going to keep your hair, we're going to have to teach you to put it up," Sam said, eyeing him critically. "The colonel really will never let you out in the field with hair that long."
"There is not enough whiskey in all of Colorado Springs for me to let you braid my hair," Daniel slurred. He had never had great tolerance for a guy, and two shots of Wild Turkey in quick succession had hit him hard. "I'll just cut it off."
"What do you mean, cut it off," Janet asked warily.
"I'll just get my old haircut," Daniel shrugged.
"No!" the women yelped, in unison. The looks of alarm they were giving him made him giggle. That was why he'd cut it in the first place, wasn't it? Because he'd decided that if he was going to be playing soldiers, he'd better get with the program. No more hair in his eyes in the middle of a firefight.
"Did you know how many hearts you broke in my infirmary when you cut your hair?" Janet said wistfully. She had been keeping up with Daniel, and while she probably wasn't quite as drunk yet, she was headed down that road.
Daniel shook his head.
"That's a stupid argument, Janet. You also know just exactly how many heads he turned," Sam said.
"And like I care about that at this point, anyway," Daniel reminded them, gesturing lewdly towards his lap.
Janet snorted.
"You obviously missed the drool all over those jarheads in SG-5 that day. They were all doing post mission physicals when you breezed in. They all had to fold their hands in their laps." She snickered to herself at the memory.
Daniel just stared at her, mouth falling open in shock.
"Janet, I don't think you're helping," Sam admonished her friend.
"And again," Daniel replied, repeating the "no-more-dick" gesture, trying for the hundredth time that evening just to play it cool. But he really didn't need to know that whole male SG teams had been lusting after him en masse even before he had been changed into a woman. Nope. He just didn’t need to know that information.
"Well, I'm protecting you from yourself," Janet declared, pointing an admonishing finger. "You cannot get a man's haircut. You can go back the old floppy hair, but I will not let you scalp yourself. You'll regret it."
Daniel said nothing, just reached for the bottle and poured himself another shot. Sam watched him worriedly.
"I think you might want to back off a little, Daniel," she suggested.
He just eyed her with bleary defiance over the rim of the glass as he gulped the alcohol down.
"We'll take you to the salon this weekend," Janet nodded to herself.
"Hair Cuttery," Daniel insisted.
"Good enough," Sam chirped, whisking the bottle away to the kitchen and coming back with water for Daniel and herself.
"OK, biggest question of the evening," Sam said thoughtfully.
Daniel glared.
"What are you going to call yourself?"
"Daniel?" he suggested, too drunk to really understand her question.
Janet shook her head.
"You can't introduce yourself to strangers as Daniel Jackson. It's too weird."
"Danielle?" Sam suggested. "Daniela?"
"No. No, no, no. Absolutely not. I am not using those stupid names. Daniel is fine. I am not going to be Danielle," he whined the last word, drawing it out scornfully, derision dripping from every syllable.
"Well, you don't have to be mean about it. My best friend in high school was named Danielle. I always thought I might use that for a girl's name, when I had kids."
Sam looked injured. Daniel didn't care.
"I don't care," he repeated aloud. "I'm not changing my name." He crossed his arms in front of his chest and glared at nothing.
"Why don't you just introduce yourself as Dani, then?" Janet suggested, trying to mollify him.
The thought of saying, "Hi, I'm Dr. Dani Jackson" made his stomach turn. Or maybe that was the alcohol. He kept his mouth shut.
"Maybe it's time to go," Sam said after a long awkward silence.
"Maybe," Daniel agreed.
"OK. Plans," said Janet. "We'll come by at 10:00 on Saturday and get you," she said. "You want a haircut and we need to take you to the mall."
"NO!" Daniel leapt up, and immediately regretted it. The room spun and his legs felt weak under him. But he wasn't going to the mall, dammit.
"I'm not going to any damn mall. There's no reason."
"Daniel, a pair of jeans and two t-shirts are not enough clothes. And you have got to buy some shoes," Sam held up a hand to stop his protest. "Not fifty pairs of red spike heels, Daniel. A pair of sneakers. Some Birks. Maybe some hiking boots. Just basics. You cannot go around town in your combat boots. And you are not going to get away without bras. You're too big."
Daniel's head was spinning. He was a tiny little person, but he was too big? He felt ill. Then he realized that he actually was going to be ill. He slapped a hand over his mouth and ran for the toilet. He just made it, puking wretchedly. When he finished, he could smell the vomit and alcohol in his nose, and tears were streaming down his face. And Sam was holding his hair. Which made him cry harder. He sat back on his butt on the bathroom floor to find himself in Sam's warm, comforting, long-armed embrace. She sat with him, shushing him and stroking his hair. It felt wonderful. Soothing. He relaxed into it.
Janet brought him a cold washcloth for his face. She gently wiped his tears away and brushed his hair back from his eyes.
"Are you going to be OK to stand up?" she asked him. He nodded weakly, and she hauled him easily to his feet. Sam undid his jeans and Janet held him steady as he stepped out of them. Then she guided him to the bed.
They lay down with him, holding him, petting his hair. He fell asleep thinking that he was having a pajama party.
Adjustments, Part 3
Author:
muck_a_luck, posting in brainofckPairing: Daniel Jackson/Jack O'Neill
Rating: PG for most parts, NC-17 eventually
Summary: This story is a close cousin of Metamorphosis, except in this story, Daniel really has changed into a woman.
Content/warnings: Het content.
Disclaimer: If anybody is planning a script like this for SG-1, I'm certainly not going to claim any rights to it. However, I'd be delighted to work in a co-writing/consulting/first-reader/advisory-type capacity, with my fee to be negotiated at that time. :D
Archive rights: Absolutely none. My journals only.
muck_a_luck and brainofckThe Matrix: He. The Matrix is located here.
For my loyal
rugbytacklers, I have done a Stargate crash course located here.Adjustments, Part 1
"You are so outta here!" Sam crowed, as she came bouncing into his quarters.
The look on his face must have tipped her off.
"He is, right?" she said, turning to Janet.
"No, I'm not. But it doesn't matter, because I'd rather not leave, anyway."
"Daniel, this is exactly the reason I think you need a specialist."
"And you know perfectly well that I don't do shrinks anymore. Plus, the specialists in this kind of thing counsel people who think they want to have a sex change. There is no specialist in the world on the topic of a person who has had a perfect, complete change in sex swap against their will."
"I'm not letting you off this base until you agree to get help with this, Daniel! It's going to be a big adjustment for you, and you shouldn't be trying to do it alone," Janet insisted. "I don't care if there aren't any specialists. There are people who can help you keep your sanity. I can recommend really, really good therapists..."
"I already said I'd rather stay here anyway, Janet. Ra and Apophis help me, what the hell am I going to tell my neighbors?!"
"See..." she began again.
"Exactly, Janet. I'm not leaving. I'll move in next to Teal'c."
Sam cleared her throat.
"Janet, a word."
The two women stepped into the suite bathroom. Daniel scowled at how Sam towered over Janet. Sam towered over him, too. He hated it.
He flopped back onto the bed, closing his eyes, and refused to feel guilty for acting like a petulant child. He wasn't going back out into the real world, where no one would know that he was a man. Where guys would flirt with him at the grocery store and "undress him with their eyes" at Starbucks, and try to chat him up at Border's. He just couldn't face it.
He'd rather stay here on base, where everybody knew who he was. Where he could be a headfuck for every new male SGC employee. Where even if his enemies might mock him, at least they knew who he was underneath. He could handle mocking. He could not handle people who just saw him as another pretty little piece of ass. Or even people who saw him as a sweet girl they'd like to buy a cup of coffee. He just couldn't.
No. Just couldn't.
He realized they were standing over him.
"OK, Daniel, here's the deal. You, me and Janet. Girls' night out, couple of nights a week."
"I'm not a girl. And I already said I'm not going out."
"OK. Fine. Not girls' night out, then. Adjustment coaching, from two people who can show you the practical ropes."
"Don't need to know the ropes, Sam. I appreciate the offer, but I'm staying here."
"Daniel," she wheedled.
"Don't bother, Sam," Janet said shortly. "Daniel, you get out from under this mountain and let us help you, or I won't recertify you for field duty. You're not stepping through that Stargate again before I give the go-ahead, and I'm not doing it until I think you can go through there comfortable in your own skin, and not constantly distracted by your own tits. You got it?"
That made Daniel open his eyes and sit up. That thought hadn't actually occurred to him before.
"General Hammond won't recertify me for field duty, anyway," he said uncertainly. Would he? "Besides, Jack won't have anything to do with me on his team."
Janet snorted.
"He will if General Hammond says he will. And I don't see why the colonel wouldn't want you back on SG-1. You and Jack are our first contact team. You need each other. The SGC needs you. General Hammond is dying to put SG-1 back into action. But he won't if I say you're not fit for duty. You can sit here 28 stories underground and translate what your colleagues bring back, and poke at artifacts they found on digs they excavated. You can have dinner in the commissary with Teal'c every night he's not on a mission and he can keep you up to date about what's going on out in the universe. Or you can go yourself. It's your choice."
"Come on, Daniel," Sam encouraged him. "Come upstairs and get some air. We can go to that sushi place you like..."
"No. I cannot go out where every guy from the bartender to the busboy is going to be giving me the hairy eyeball."
Sam smiled encouragingly.
"OK. Then we'll go by the Magic Wok, pick up an obscene amount of cheap Chinese takeout and go back to your place."
Daniel hesitated. Now that he was thinking about going out, he suddenly felt a longing to be under the open sky again and to sleep in his own bed. And he was certain that he couldn't stay under the mountain if Janet wouldn't let him get out through the gate. He'd go crazy. He sighed heavily.
"OK. But somebody has to give me a lift. I came with Janet."
The apartment was approximately how he'd left it, the usual debris of personal paperwork laying around on the coffee table and the least comfortable chair, reference books open on the couch, old newspapers and magazines on the kitchen table. But someone had come in and dealt with the kitchen, which was spotlessly clean. He braced himself to face the fridge, but it had been cleared out and a few of the essentials actually restocked.
He turned in surprise to Janet, who was shoving her way in with an armload of bags that Daniel had noticed in the backseat of her car.
"Did you do this?"
She looked embarrassed.
"Sam and I did it. We thought you would have enough to deal with when you came home."
Daniel leaned against the counter. Two of the most brilliant scientific minds of their time, an astrophysicist of probable Nobel caliber if all her work weren't classified, and a physician and diagnostician unsurpassed, possibly in the galaxy, had cleaned his fridge and washed his moldy old dishes.
He suddenly needed to sit down.
"What's in the bags?" Sam asked, gesturing with her chopsticks.
"Stuff," Janet replied around a mouthful of moo shoo pork.
"Like what?" Daniel asked.
"Like stuff I thought you shouldn't see until you had a good dose of liquid courage." She eyed him warily. Between them they had killed off the first six pack of Tsingdao and were now drinking plum wine. She must have decided he was as courageous as he was going to get at this point.
She opened the first bag, as Sam watched with interest. Daniel was interested, too, but mostly he watched with dread.
"You need new clothes," she stated flatly.
"No I don't," he replied.
"What do you mean, you don't?" Sam laughed. "Everything you have now looks like you stole it from your big brother or your boyfriend. You cannot go around dressed like that."
"I don't see why not," Daniel growled.
"Well, for one reason," Janet said firmly, "If you dress like that you will draw attention to yourself. And it will make you look like an adorable vagabond and you will have the college boys all over you before you know what hit you."
Daniel blanched.
"Maybe I could just steal some BDUs from work," he suggested.
"Ha! Trust me, the attention that would attract would be worse than the college boys," Sam snorted.
Daniel slumped back into the couch and wrapped his arms around himself. He had the terrible feeling that this was just going to get worse and worse.
"Be nice, Sam. Here, pay attention, Daniel, there really is a solution." She opened her first bag. "You just need to dress normally. Of course, guys are going to notice you. It can't be helped. But you can blend in, be subtle, and learn to deal with the attention. It really isn't so bad. Here, look. Jeans."
She tossed them over to him.
"Try them on. I had your measurements from all that data we were collecting. You're just a little slimmer and taller than me. I think those should be just right."
Daniel took them from her and stood, heading for the bedroom.
"Oh give me a break, Daniel. There's no point changing back there. We're all the same now," Sam said, taking a sip of her wine.
"Alright," he said, trying to sound calm and collected, but feeling like the ground was falling out from under him. He decided to blame the alcohol. He uncinched his belt and stepped out of the too long khaki pants he was wearing, only to realize that he had on an old ratty pair of boxers underneath. He reached for the jeans.
"Wait! Hang on. Don’t try them with boxers, they'll look ridiculous."
Janet reached into another bag and, to Daniel's horror, took out a package of Hanes Her Way.
"Oh, don't look at them like that. Here!"
She ripped open the package and flung a pair of black cotton bikini cut panties at him. He caught them by reflex and almost dropped them. He was not supposed to be in possession of women's underwear. He just wasn't.
"You cannot expect me to actually wear these?!" he managed to choke out.
"Well, there's almost no point in wearing those," Janet patiently replied. "They're huge on you, the fly gapes open – everything hangs out. You'll find them very annoying. Wear clothes that work for you Daniel. You'll be happier."
He couldn't deny that she had a point. The boxers had bugged him so much the first day that he had been going commando under his BDUs ever since, and that hadn't been so pleasant either, though he had sort of gotten used to it.
He sighed and with an act of will, shoved the boxers off and quickly slipped the panties on. For some reason he was vaguely surprised that Janet and Sam neither tried to check him out as he changed his clothes, nor burst out laughing at him wearing panties.
He quickly slipped into the jeans.
The fit was perfect. The buttoned up and felt just right.
"I need a mirror," Daniel said.
"Bedroom," Sam agreed, and she and Janet brought the rest of the bags as they followed behind him.
He lifted up his sweater to look at the jeans in the mirror.
Maybe Janet was right. Maybe there was another option. The jeans fit well, but not tightly. They wouldn't attract any undue notice. They were probably the best camouflage he could hope for. In the mirror behind him, Janet held up a simple black t-shirt. He took his sweater off before he thought the better of it and found himself staring at his own bare breasts in the mirror.
He couldn’t stop the blush, but he did manage not to wrap his arms around himself in embarrassment. He just grabbed the shirt from Janet and slipped it on.
That was a bit more of a shock. The t-shirt was fitted, and nipped in at the waist. Unlike the jeans, it did show off his curves. So he went from half naked chick to hot chick in a matter of seconds.
He looked himself over and knew he was never going to be able to pull this off.
"I think I need something stronger than beer," he said, and went back out to the living room.
"If you're going to keep your hair, we're going to have to teach you to put it up," Sam said, eyeing him critically. "The colonel really will never let you out in the field with hair that long."
"There is not enough whiskey in all of Colorado Springs for me to let you braid my hair," Daniel slurred. He had never had great tolerance for a guy, and two shots of Wild Turkey in quick succession had hit him hard. "I'll just cut it off."
"What do you mean, cut it off," Janet asked warily.
"I'll just get my old haircut," Daniel shrugged.
"No!" the women yelped, in unison. The looks of alarm they were giving him made him giggle. That was why he'd cut it in the first place, wasn't it? Because he'd decided that if he was going to be playing soldiers, he'd better get with the program. No more hair in his eyes in the middle of a firefight.
"Did you know how many hearts you broke in my infirmary when you cut your hair?" Janet said wistfully. She had been keeping up with Daniel, and while she probably wasn't quite as drunk yet, she was headed down that road.
Daniel shook his head.
"That's a stupid argument, Janet. You also know just exactly how many heads he turned," Sam said.
"And like I care about that at this point, anyway," Daniel reminded them, gesturing lewdly towards his lap.
Janet snorted.
"You obviously missed the drool all over those jarheads in SG-5 that day. They were all doing post mission physicals when you breezed in. They all had to fold their hands in their laps." She snickered to herself at the memory.
Daniel just stared at her, mouth falling open in shock.
"Janet, I don't think you're helping," Sam admonished her friend.
"And again," Daniel replied, repeating the "no-more-dick" gesture, trying for the hundredth time that evening just to play it cool. But he really didn't need to know that whole male SG teams had been lusting after him en masse even before he had been changed into a woman. Nope. He just didn’t need to know that information.
"Well, I'm protecting you from yourself," Janet declared, pointing an admonishing finger. "You cannot get a man's haircut. You can go back the old floppy hair, but I will not let you scalp yourself. You'll regret it."
Daniel said nothing, just reached for the bottle and poured himself another shot. Sam watched him worriedly.
"I think you might want to back off a little, Daniel," she suggested.
He just eyed her with bleary defiance over the rim of the glass as he gulped the alcohol down.
"We'll take you to the salon this weekend," Janet nodded to herself.
"Hair Cuttery," Daniel insisted.
"Good enough," Sam chirped, whisking the bottle away to the kitchen and coming back with water for Daniel and herself.
"OK, biggest question of the evening," Sam said thoughtfully.
Daniel glared.
"What are you going to call yourself?"
"Daniel?" he suggested, too drunk to really understand her question.
Janet shook her head.
"You can't introduce yourself to strangers as Daniel Jackson. It's too weird."
"Danielle?" Sam suggested. "Daniela?"
"No. No, no, no. Absolutely not. I am not using those stupid names. Daniel is fine. I am not going to be Danielle," he whined the last word, drawing it out scornfully, derision dripping from every syllable.
"Well, you don't have to be mean about it. My best friend in high school was named Danielle. I always thought I might use that for a girl's name, when I had kids."
Sam looked injured. Daniel didn't care.
"I don't care," he repeated aloud. "I'm not changing my name." He crossed his arms in front of his chest and glared at nothing.
"Why don't you just introduce yourself as Dani, then?" Janet suggested, trying to mollify him.
The thought of saying, "Hi, I'm Dr. Dani Jackson" made his stomach turn. Or maybe that was the alcohol. He kept his mouth shut.
"Maybe it's time to go," Sam said after a long awkward silence.
"Maybe," Daniel agreed.
"OK. Plans," said Janet. "We'll come by at 10:00 on Saturday and get you," she said. "You want a haircut and we need to take you to the mall."
"NO!" Daniel leapt up, and immediately regretted it. The room spun and his legs felt weak under him. But he wasn't going to the mall, dammit.
"I'm not going to any damn mall. There's no reason."
"Daniel, a pair of jeans and two t-shirts are not enough clothes. And you have got to buy some shoes," Sam held up a hand to stop his protest. "Not fifty pairs of red spike heels, Daniel. A pair of sneakers. Some Birks. Maybe some hiking boots. Just basics. You cannot go around town in your combat boots. And you are not going to get away without bras. You're too big."
Daniel's head was spinning. He was a tiny little person, but he was too big? He felt ill. Then he realized that he actually was going to be ill. He slapped a hand over his mouth and ran for the toilet. He just made it, puking wretchedly. When he finished, he could smell the vomit and alcohol in his nose, and tears were streaming down his face. And Sam was holding his hair. Which made him cry harder. He sat back on his butt on the bathroom floor to find himself in Sam's warm, comforting, long-armed embrace. She sat with him, shushing him and stroking his hair. It felt wonderful. Soothing. He relaxed into it.
Janet brought him a cold washcloth for his face. She gently wiped his tears away and brushed his hair back from his eyes.
"Are you going to be OK to stand up?" she asked him. He nodded weakly, and she hauled him easily to his feet. Sam undid his jeans and Janet held him steady as he stepped out of them. Then she guided him to the bed.
They lay down with him, holding him, petting his hair. He fell asleep thinking that he was having a pajama party.
Adjustments, Part 3
