brainofck | The Terrible, Horrible, Aliens-Made-Them-Do-It Story

Title: Love Bites
Author:

muck_a_luck, posting in

brainofck
Pairing: Daniel Jackson/Jack O'Neill
Rating: NC-17
Summary: The problem with interplanetary travel is all the mosquitos.
Content/warnings: I cannot believe I wrote this. So, so dumb. A terrible, horrible, aliens-made-them-do-it story.
Spoilers: None.
Words: 3,596
Disclaimer: If anybody is planning a script like this for SG-1, I'm certainly not going to claim any rights to it. However, I'd be delighted to work in a co-writing/consulting/first-reader/advisory-type capacity, with my fee to be negotiated at that time. :D
Archive rights: Absolutely none. My journals only.

muck_a_luck and

brainofck
Blame: Blaming

green_grrl today, for lack of a better victim.

For my loyal

rugbytacklers, I have done a Stargate crash course located here.

"Well, there you have it people, no Gate travel for a while. Let's set up a base camp."

"Sir, it's possible that if they..."

"Carter! For once, this is not our problem. Here we are, lovely idyllic valley. Great fishing. Pretty little ruins for Daniel. Nice nature walks if anybody's so inclined. Not a goa'uld or a hostile Jaffa or a replicator or a Tok'ra or even an Asgard in sight. The SGC can sort it out without us."

Sam had a mutinous look. Like she might sneak over and dial the gate to talk to the SGC again as soon as Jack wasn't looking.

Teal'c was a calm as ever, turning to survey the nearby ground for a good campsite.

Daniel was itchy. Very, very itchy. He wondered if the damned bug had gotten inside his clothes somehow, since he didn't want to imagine the size of whatever it must be if it had bitten through his vest.

"Is something wrong, DanielJackson?"

"No, no," Daniel said distractedly, trying to look down inside his shirt. "This planet just has the meanest mosquitoes ever. They're biting me like crazy!"

Teal'c watched in apparent fascination as Daniel continued to scratch the exposed bites and worry at his clothes.

"Perhaps insect repellant is in order?"

"Yeah, good idea."

Base camp set.

Carter and Teal'c bickering good naturedly over how to produce something edible to eat from the emergency rations.

His own boots left high up on the embankment, toes dabbling in the cool water. Fishing line bobbing and drifting just a little downstream.

Teal'c's parting jibe, "O'Neill, may I suggest that your excursion will be more efficient if you bait the hooks this time," was already (mostly) forgotten. Who knew if the fish were safe to eat on this planet anyway?

Daniel, scratching like a maniac.

"What did you get into, an anthill?!"

"I don't know! But it's driving me insane!" He started stripping out of his kit piece by piece - vest, shirt, t-shirt shed in quick succession. He sat hard on his butt, and started working on the laces of his boots.

Now that Jack could see, it was pretty clear that what had gotten Daniel was a pretty damn ornery mosquito. He was covered in angry red welts. Jack laid his fishing pole on the ground and walked over for a better look.

He reached out to touch one, low between Daniel's shoulder -blades. Daniel started.

"Sorry! Did that hurt?" Jack asked with some concern. "These look awful. Jeez! They're hot to the touch!"

"I just want to see if it helps to get them in the cool water," Daniel said. There was a tremor in his voice. Jack noticed he hadn't gotten very far with the laces on his boots. He scooted around and batted Daniel's shaky fingers away, working the knots himself.

Boots off, Jack sat back and finally looked Daniel in the face.

"Oh, crap," he muttered to himself. Daniel was pale, sweating, breathing fast, glassy eyed. Jack reached out to touch his friend's forehead. The man was on fire. He slid his fingers down to Daniel's neck, found his pulse tripping.

Jack flicked on his radio.

"Carter, dial up the SGC. Tell them we have a medical emergency and we need to get Daniel home ASAP."

"Sir, I can try, but under the circumstances, I don't think there's anything they can do! What's wrong with him?"

"He's having some sort of reaction to whatever's been biting him. Teal'c, get down here to the creek with the med kit. I'm gonna dunk him in the water. Carter, tell Frazier I'm guessing his temp is over 104 and he looks like he's going into shock."

Daniel faded in and out. The water felt so good. It was nice, listening to Jack's low, reassuring murmur. Then Teal'c came and he heard Janet and Sam talking. He cooperated with having his temperature taken. Then he felt himself float up and the wind carried him back to the Stargate. He liked floating like that, but he was starting to itch again, and he didn't like that at all because he knew it would hurt to scratch and also he was very hot and he started crying for Jack to just put him back in the cool water.

Teal'c looked complacent. No. That was a little smile, lurking at the corners of his calm demeanor. Teal'c was in Jaffa hysterics!

"So you know what's wrong with him?! Why didn't you say something?!" Jack bellowed. Sam sat by Daniel's side, hushing his weak crying and trying to make him more comfortable.

"I did not want to explain the remedy to Dr. Frazier so publicly. But these bites are common on several of the planets ruled by Apophis and the treatment is simple. We have everything we need to accomplish it." The smile tugged a little more.

Teal'c's amusement was really starting to piss Jack off.

"AND???? Come on, T! Daniel's burning up in there."

"To break the fever, the victim merely needs to achieve sexual climax."

The two humans just stared at him.

"Teal'c! I swear to God, this is no time for a lesson in dirty Jaffa jokes!" Sam watched with interest as Jack actually took a menacing step toward Teal'c. She wondered if Jack had the slightest chance in that fight. Teal'c crossed his massive arms and raised an eyebrow meaningfully.

"O'Neill. You can see why I would not want to relate this treatment over the MALP. The fever will come down. And the pain, swelling and itching of the bites responds almost instantly to the enzymes in human saliva and semen."

"So what you're saying is, all we have to do to help Daniel is bring him off and rub his cum all over his bites?" Sam said in disbelief. Teal'c nodded.

"Right! I'm outta here," she said. "You two can fix him up. I'm gonna start the mineral survey. Waaaaaay over there."

"Major Carter, might I suggest insect repellant."

"You certainly may, Teal'c. Lots and lots of insect repellant."

Jack watched Sam's hasty retreat with dismay. When he turned back he caught Teal'c smirking at him again.

"This isn't funny, you know!" The whole thing was crazy. He ducked back inside the tent and looked Daniel over. Feverish, hurting, and not even fully conscious. He was either delirious or dreaming, whimpering, calling all their names in turn, begging inarticulately.

Jack looked back at Teal'c. "Assuming what you say is true, how is he supposed to achieve 'sexual climax' in this condition?"

"It is my understanding that if you treat the insect bites themselves, all the symptoms will be somewhat relieved. Applying saliva or semen now should reduce his temperature enough."

Jack looked from Teal'c back to Daniel back to Teal'c, who still seemed entirely too amused in Jack's opinion.

"Go away," he snarled.

Jack had imagined Daniel naked and at his mercy, though not very many times. Because when half-formed fantasies of lips and skin and fingers intruded - maybe as Sam conducted an insanely boring briefing or during an interminable wait in a broken down tel'tak, or any other place where daydreams dream themselves - Jack ruthlessly squelched them before they could develop into something he could think about and remember. Daniel was straight. He was straight. They were serving in a gay-unfriendly organization. That way lay disaster, and Jack was a cautions, sensible man, no matter what his reputation for recklessness.

Still, he rationalized it to himself, who in the SGC hadn't imagined pretty, sweet-faced DanielJackson in their bed at least once? He suspected that was what Teal'c did during all that kel no reem.

This, however, was nowhere close to anything Jack had ever imagined. While the idea of kissing Daniel's hot, naked flesh had lots of appeal, the idea of licking his giant, red bug bites held much less.

But even as his brain cringed at the idea, his dick was sending little excited, tingly sensations up to his belly.

Ah, his cock. He was very good at resisting his urges, but in this moment, he decided to let his little friend lead the way.

He leaned forward and applied a loving, openmouthed kiss to a particularly nasty bite high on Daniel's hip. He sucked and slurped there a few seconds, then sat back to see what effect, if any, there was on the welt. To his amazement, Teal'c was right. The effect did seem to be nearly instantaneous. The bump had shrunk from an alarming wound, the size of a quarter, to something like the size of a normal mosquito bite.

"Way to go, T!" he muttered to himself, and set to work on this strange new task with more enthusiasm.

It got better as he went, too. Daniel tasted salty at first, but as Jack focused on certain small areas of skin, the flavor changed to something sweet and cinnamony, almost like a piece of apple pie. Or pumpkin. Who would have thought that Daniel would taste like pie? Jack had to firmly resist the urge to just lazily suckle at one particularly wonderful spot toward the middle of Daniel's chest, reminding himself that there were other places, probably just as nice, that needed his attention, or Daniel's fever was never going to come down. That was a sobering thought.

Though it led inevitably to other ideas, of great interest to Jack now. Like how best for the patient to achieve "sexual climax." The more Jack applied saliva to Daniel's bites, the more appealing the idea of just taking matters in hand, as it were. Jack could feel Daniel's body reacting under him to what Jack was pleased to think of as really excellent, drawn out foreplay. Jack wondered if Daniel had any bites, ahem, down there.

Daniel resurfaced to a whole set of strange, but not completely unpleasant sensations. He felt weighted down by a heavy, comforting warmth. There were moist, soft touches and gentle scratching sensations, and as he put it together he realized it felt very much like someone's tongue. There was also the moist warm-cool of someone breathing over his skin. And large hands, warm and careful, holding him, but shifting as the touch of the tongue and lips and teeth and...

...stubble?!

Daniel's eyes flew open and he struggled to sit up enough to figure out what was going on. It was a little like an out of body experience. Like he was watching something shocking and unexpected from the outside, and it had nothing to do with him. There was the inside of the small tent, and his own naked body laid out in the sleeping bag, and Jack, eyes closed, carefully and conscientiously kissing every inch of Daniel's exposed skin with a an expression of pure bliss on his face.

"What are you doing?" Daniel managed to squeak.

"Mmm, licking..." was Jack's reply. It sent a shudder through Daniel. OK. That wasn't Jack, selflessly doing what had to be done, that was for sure.

"Teal'c says it'll make you better. Stop the itching. It definitely makes the bites smaller. Plus, you taste good."

Daniel groaned. Jack sounded dreamy and far away. What was going on?

"I was sure I was delirious. Does that mean he said all that other stuff, too?"

Jack was smearing wet-tongued kisses all across his belly, moving on to suck wetly at the inside of Daniel's elbow, down onto his forearm.

"Yep. I thought you would prefer being licked to... the other options," Jack replied, pausing in his ministrations to lift his head and look up at Daniel.

Oh, God. Daniel knew that look. Well, he'd never seen it on Jack, but it was unmistakable. Chocolate eyes, darkened to night, cheeks flushed, lips full - Jack practically glowed with lust. He was draped over Daniel's lower body and legs, and Daniel really hoped that was Jack's sidearm pressing firmly against his calf.

Even more alarmingly, Daniel knew exactly what that was caught between his own belly and Jack's shoulder.

"I would prefer you get off me," Daniel said in growing dismay. "If it's Teal'c's home remedy, Teal'c can provide the.... substances."

He tried to sound disgusted, but the effect was somewhat marred by the breathless panic in his voice..

"Actually, since you're awake again, you can provide the necessary substances."

The bastard actually leaned into his shoulder just a little, the new pressure sending a shudder through him that got a leering grin from Jack. "All you need is help getting them on your back."

"Jack, what is wrong with you?! Get off me! Right now!" He struggled weakly against Jack's weight. "This is stupid. You realize you are confirming every rumor that has ever gone around about us?"

"Who cares?" said Jack, unrelenting. He was lapping at Daniel's fingers now. "Why not, for once, get some fun out of the crap this job dumps on us?" He slurped happily at the inside of Daniel's wrist, where there was an almost purple welt. "Sex, fishing, a little archaeology, maybe with more sex and some interesting translating. And if it rains, we can just stay in the tent and screw each other's brains out."

"Alright! Just stop! Something is wrong with you! I care, is who cares. And you would normally, too! You would never in a million years suggest we "screw each other's brains out" in a tent in the rain when we were stuck on a mission! Listen to yourself."

"Nobody here but SG-1, and none of us are likely to tell, are we? What's the problem?"

"The problem is that I... Look! Teal'c came up with this ridiculous idea, let him help me with it. Out!" Then to Jack's surprise and consternation he yelled, "TEAL'C, get him off me!"

"Shhhhhhh," Jack hushed him.

"Don't you shhhhhh me. TEAL'C!"

Then Jack shut him up everybody's favorite way. The kiss was all tongue until it was clear that Daniel wasn't shouting anymore. Then it grew into something sweet and gentle. When Jack pulled away to look at him, Daniel was having a difficult time remembering why he had thought this was such a bad idea.

"Wow," whispered Jack.

"Yeah, that was... wow..." Daniel agreed.

"You OK now?" Jack asked.

"No. My eyes are burning and I itch all over and my head is splitting. Need I continue?"

Jack kissed him again. "We should do something about that, then," he replied. Then he was squirming and wriggling out of constraining clothes until he was perched, naked, on Daniel's thighs.

Definitely not his sidearm, Daniel couldn't stop himself from thinking.

"Um. Jack. There's really no reason for you to be naked, too," Daniel protested, not very convincingly. It clearly wasn't his sidearm, either.

"There is if I'm going to do this," Jack replied, and leaned over to the med kit, lying open on the floor of the tent. He opened a plastic jar of petroleum jelly and took a huge amount on two fingers.

Daniel must have had an apprehensive look, because Jack murmured "Nothing to worry about," with a sly grin, then reached around behind himself. Daniel would never forget the expression on his friend's face as he began opening himself. Daniel couldn't resist it. He pushed himself up and kissed him, devouring every tremble and gasp caused by determined pushing and stretching and exploration, until Jack began pushing him back down onto the sleeping bag again.

Daniel reached back and fumbled for the jar.

"Let me," he said.

And wrapped slick fingers around his own cock. Jack watched him with fascination until he gently pushed Daniel's hands away.

Jack could not believe how much he wanted to feel Daniel's hard cock up his ass. The thought of being impaled and taken was twisting his gut and making his own dick drool over Daniel's belly as he positioned himself. He could feel Daniel, slick and hot, nudging at his hole. It was a little tricky, and after squirming and adjusting and missing the target, he finally reached back and held Daniel just like he wanted him and penetrated himself.

The feeling was incredible. Jack had stretched past the pain already so that he could concentrate on the pressure and friction and movement of Daniel possessing and filling him. Below him, Daniel's eyes were wide and dark, and he was panting deliciously and open mouthed. As Jack brought his ass flush with Daniel's body, Jack reached down and smeared his fingers in the little pool of pre-cum he'd already created on Daniel's belly, painting it over bites on Daniel's forehead, then his cheek. Daniel turned his head and caught Jack's fingers in his mouth, sucking them. Licking them. Oh, Jack was going to have to get that mouth on his dick. But one thing at a time.

As he began fucking himself with Daniel's cock, he shifted carefully, experimenting until he found the angle. Just as he did, Jack felt Daniel wrap a warm, oiled palm around him and for a moment the world blanked out.

Jack was beautiful. Amazing. Daniel hoped it would rain. Daniel was also exhausted from fever and not at all up to an endurance fuck.

He came alarmingly quickly, but it felt so good he couldn’t really think about much else, except a vague regret that Jack hadn't finished.

Jack lifted off him almost immediately, and to Daniel's confusion, began smearing the dribbled remains of Daniel's ejaculation over Daniel's inner thighs and legs. Daniel moaned in a combination of relief and ecstasy, feeling his cock already reacting.

"Can you imagine what would happen to a colony on this planet?" Jack mused to himself with a chuckle.

"We may have to... um... exclude it from the dialing program..." Daniel agreed. It was very difficult to focus on even the most inane small talk with Jack O'Neill kneeling over him, slowly and purposefully stroking himself off.

"Over on your belly Daniel," came the order.

"No!" he whispered huskily, "I want to see."

"Another time. Think how good this is going to feel on all those bites on your back."

So Daniel settled for listening instead of watching, and in some ways it was almost as good. The slick wet movements of Jack's hand over his cock. His unsteady breathing and little noises, like half-formed whimpers. And the cry that accompanied the hot wet streaks across his back and buttocks.

Jack collapsed forward from kneeling to all fours over him, breathing heavily, leaning down to gently kiss the back of Daniel's neck, before running a wet tongue over the hot skin there. He rested a moment, catching his breath, then began running his fingers through his own juices, those lovely strong hands kneading the cooling, sticky fluid into Daniel's damaged skin, soothing his fever achy muscles. Now it was Daniel making the little pleasured noises, and it was Jack's cock getting hard again. He worked his way carefully and methodically down Daniel's back, lingering to apply a good, deep muscle massage to Daniel's ass, before he came up dry and finished up the bites on Daniel's legs with licks and nibbles of his own.

Somewhere around the back of the second knee, Daniel couldn't take it anymore. He suddenly needed to be fucked. He clambered up onto his hands and knees, even as Jack caught him by the ankle and continued sucking at his calf.

"Come on, Jack. Do me."

The strain in Daniel's voice got his attention more than his change of position had. Jack sat there next to him and surveyed the results of his efforts. Daniel, begging for it, practically waving his ass at him, inside a little tent that smelled deliciously of sex, spunk, petroleum jelly, and Daniel. His own ass was aching, but so was his dick, and Daniel's cock was flushed and full and dripping again.

Jack shook his head against the unreality of it. He felt drunk. Or high. But he had never been hornier or happier in his life.

He sunk his fingers into the little plastic jar again.

"Hope you're ready for this, pretty boy..."

"Well, you could have warned me."

"My apologies, Major Carter. I have been waiting many months for an opportunity to use this strategy. When the chance presented itself today, I felt I must act quickly and did not have time to discuss it with you."

"It's a good thing, too. I wanted them to get on with it as much as you did, but if I'd know you were going to give Daniel a temperature of 108 to do it, I would have had to put my foot down."

"I was not expecting his reaction to be so severe. Usually the fever is much milder."

"Daniel's allergic to everything! Of course his reaction was severe."

"Indeed."

"So what's going to happen?"

"The venom of those insects is a more powerful aphrodisiac than any goa'uld has been able to produce in a laboratory. And when ingested by people who already feel affection for each other, the effects are lasting and permanent. It is part of the wedding ceremony on every planet where the insects are found. For good or ill, we have done what we set out to do."

Sam continued her methodical, if somewhat desultory, collection of soil and mineral samples for the survey.

Teal'c smiled to himself, wishing Major Carter had stayed close enough to the camp that he could have eavesdropped on the tent.

He noted that it looked like it might rain.