Morning sex

[brainofck]

It is almost completely impossible for me to write about people having morning sex. I mean, you know, just-after-they-woke-up sex.

Because the first thing I have to do when I wake up is pee, and who wants to have sex when they really, really need to pee.

*eyes all you kinky pee people*

Not me, that's for sure.

So I am trying to ignore this MASSIVE reality squick and write just-after-they-woke-up sex. And it keeps niggling at me. Stupid brain. *thumps brain*

OW!

Comments

[cocoajava.livejournal.com]

I feel somewhat responsible for this problem you have. :)

[brainofck.livejournal.com]

OMG! And I so totally have to pee RIGHT NOW! Holding it in so I can just get done here and shut the computer down.

[brainofck.livejournal.com]

You must return to this thread and view it, Pee Buddy. You will laugh all the way to the pee recepticle of your choice! :D

[cocoajava.livejournal.com]

Just read it! OMG. And I'm laughing for multiple reasons! And happily surprised to see [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] in here!

So now that you are armed with all your fangirls thoughts, will there be morning pee contests and romantic farts?

[brainofck.livejournal.com]

*facepalm*

I am actually considering rewriting so the events occur before they fall asleep instead of after they wake up. Fix the squick, avoid romantic farting.

*headdesk*

[green-grrl.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean! I think I fairly often have my characters run for a quick pee and then have morning sex. Because I love the morning sex, too. :-) I might start adding in the 4 a.m. pee run, which takes the pressure off, too.

But I am all over the pee thing. If a character in a fic says they have to pee? I am on tenterhooks until the author get them to the bathroom. Seriously, if an author drops the ball and starts with the secksin' or the action or anything else, and forgets about the peeing? Total sympathy bladder pains!

Realism in fic. I am so there.

[brainofck.livejournal.com]

That is very important to know about you! I pledge to never forgetfully strand a character without a trip to the bathroom! :D

[green-grrl.livejournal.com]

Oh, I don't think you ever would, but I would poke you anyway. :-)

[melayneseahawk.livejournal.com]

...There are no words. I'm laughing too hard.

[brainofck.livejournal.com]

*snorts*

[starting-gate.livejournal.com]

Just the other day I was doing some prostate research – yes, on the internet – and read that a full bladder applies pressure to the prostate and increases pleasure. Although I didn’t research women, personally, that’s ... TMI.

What squicks me, is morning breath. Then, of course, once a person brushes their teeth, having to pee is priority. And then there's the whole mood-killer thing.

[brainofck.livejournal.com]

*snickers*

[zats-clear.livejournal.com]

sweet jesus, I thought I was the only fruitcake who did that kind of research on the internet (ok, SnoringBedPartnerForLife was in the Middle East at the time, but hey...there was knowledge to be had)

find anything interesting I might have missed?

[starting-gate.livejournal.com]

I was researching something for a fic, and can't, for the life of me, remember what it was! The prostate research was just an happy coincidence. That I remember.

The internet is good for things besides porn! Who knew?

[daroos.livejournal.com]

We manage morning sex by both simultaneously sprinting for the bathroom BEFORE morning sex.

[brainofck.livejournal.com]

I actually considered a sort of sexy watching-each-other-pee type moment. But that was a little kinky for the situation.

[ramlatch.livejournal.com]

It's tough. I dont' know how anyone would be into sex just after sleeping, personally I feel my most yucky for the first half hour after waking up (and have to pee too).

[brainofck.livejournal.com]

Well there are those people who bounce out of bed, happy and rested and ready for all challenges. But I bet even they have the pee problem.

[emeraldsword.livejournal.com]

Morning sex is not my thing. First of all, I'm asleep! Then I'm in that lovely half-awake bit where everything's all soft and fuzzy and do not want to be pushed and pulled all over the place. Then I'm hungry. I can see where it might be kind of nice in theory though, so I like it in fic.

[brainofck.livejournal.com]

Then I'm hungry.

*cries laughing* It's like trying to drive somewhere with a four-year old!!!!

[emeraldsword.livejournal.com]

LOL, are we nearly there yet?


Incidentally, I read somewhere that you have 40 minutes before they say that, so get the first distraction out at half an hour in and it might make life easier. Of course, I don't have children to test this on so it might be rubbish and I'd never know, but such is life.

[brainofck.livejournal.com]

Always good to get ideas. I'm only on my second time round, so still learning! :D

[green-grrl.livejournal.com]

Now, see, from soft and fuzzy to turned on orgasmic? Yum! I'm all over the sleepy sex! As long as my partner wants to do the work and doesn't expect me to be energetic. :-D

[emeraldsword.livejournal.com]

See, I like it in theory but as you say, ideally the other person would do all the work!

[helena-s-renn.livejournal.com]

*eyes all you kinky pee people* dang it, you had to know at least one of us would show up.

*runs away with bunny*

how dare you??? i so did not need that first thing in the morning. that was just a big huge guh for me, you know, and you didn't even mean it way at all.

[brainofck.livejournal.com]

*headdesk*

I should have known... :D

[catzslave.livejournal.com]

Not to be crass, but when I wake up the minute I start moving I have a *massive* fart! So picture the scene with morning sex that was graced with a big *toot*.

I think the best morning sex is after the quick scurry to the bathroom to "freshen up", maybe after morning coffee/tea is made.

[brainofck.livejournal.com]

OMG! *dies laughing* You win "BEST TMI" for the day! Can I offer you a small porn prize (farts excluded from prize offering, see below)?

I'm sorry. No matter how completely and utterly realistic it is, I refuse to include farting in my stories. So there! And that's directed more to CJ, up above, that it is to you, BTW. :D

[uisgich.livejournal.com]

I kinda like snuggly just woke up sex, maybe with a quick pee first, maybe not, depending on the need.

And I like writing and reading early morning sex scenes cause of the snuggly, warm, mussed from sleep aspect.

[brainofck.livejournal.com]

Yes. Soft warm sex has certain appeal. If one can make one's brain quit saying, you KNOW they need to pee... *rolls eyes at brain*

[zats-clear.livejournal.com]

how the frack did I miss this the first time around? Good lord, I have tears running down my face and I have been snorting so loud in the office that the cat came in to see what was up!

for the record, 'cause, ya know, everyone shared (omg, the morning toot! dies laughing again). I skip the 4 am pee (green_girl) and go straight for the 4am sex. No facing each other=no morning breath and you can go right back to sleep...

thanks sooooo much for creating an environment in which so many can laugh so damn hard! Now, I am headed back to the Skeletal fic I came to your journal for...

[brainofck.livejournal.com]

Hang out a sec (or 20 minutes or so) and I'll have another chapter up! :D

[zats-clear.livejournal.com]

you never sleep? ok, off to see if you were able to *snorts* get it up...

[brainofck.livejournal.com]

Time enough for sleep in the grave. :D