Thoughts?

[brainofck]

I am writing a section now from General Hammond's point of view.

So is he George? Hammond? Gen. Hammond?

For instance, here we have the obligatory infirmary scene, where Jack is waking up for the first time de-goa'uld'ed. (Um. Yeah. That's a word.) Anyway, this is what it looks like when I write it from Jack's POV:

"We don't know that for a fact, Colonel," General Hammond replied quietly.

"Oh, he's dead, General. I gave the order to his First Prime myself. They shoved him out into space with ten mintues' of air."

"Daniel's dead."

General Hammond just shook his head.

But from Hammond's own POV?

"We don't know that for a fact, Colonel," George replied quietly.

"Oh, he's dead, General. I gave the order to his First Prime myself. They shoved him out into space with ten mintues' of air."

"Daniel's dead."

George just shook his head.

Do you see what I'm getting at? Usually when I write from one character's POV, even though I almost always write in the third person, I still feel like a tight POV is more intimate to the character, and should reflect what would go on inside that character's head. So Gen. Hammond, from his own POV ought to think of himself as himself, right? And that is not necessarily all caught up in the General business. I have no problem writing Jack as Jack, rather than Col. O'Neill... Just feels all weird to type George.

Hmmmm. Maybe I'll write it one way, see what people think in the feedback, then do a big revision if it doesn't work...

Heh. Now I want to post an inspirational picture of George, but it would take forever to find one download it, upload it, blah, blah... Eheheheh. Is there a hammond_daily? *snickers*

EDIT: OMG! Loving my new icons! Look at Jack and Daniel! They are listening so attentively to my musings about what to call George! Thought they both look like they might be *right* on the edge of exasperation! Tee hee!

Comments

[cocoajava.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. MY gut reaction is to stick with General Hammond. Even though he wouldn't call himself that, he ALSO wouldn't refer to himself as George. He just wouldn't refer to himself by any name, he's just THE BRAIN inside himself thinkin'.

So, the name-reference is for the convenience of the readers, who have already gotten used to seeing and hearing Gen. Hammond.

Ooooh, now you icon is listening attentively to me! And I think they are saying She's so on crack We Agree!

[green-grrl.livejournal.com]

Good question. What sounds right to me is just Hammond. No way from his POV would he be "General" -- definitely. I don't know why George is weird, but it is. Yeah, Hammond works for me.

Lookee what I did. Couldn't resist iconing. They don't have the pondering look your icon does, though. ;-)

[angiepen.livejournal.com]

I vote for "George" when you're in Hammond's POV. Everything sounds weird until people get used to it. If there's enough verbage in Hammond's POV then people will get used to it, and if there's not then it doesn't matter anyway.

Also, there's no reason to have the second apostrophe in "de-goa'uld'ed" so kill it. :)

And, umm, no, I don't think there's a hammond_daily. :P Unless you want to start one...? [grin]

Angie