Food Aversions

[brainofck]

Heh. Header is longer than the thing! :)

Also, typed with one hand while I held nursing baby in the football hold with the other hand. Appropriate multi-tasking. Should have done the other side. I type faster with my left hand. Damned qwerty keyboard.

Title: Food Aversions
Author: muck_a_luck, posting in brainofck
Pairing: Daniel Jackson/Jack O'Neill
Rating: G
Summary: Daniel did the grocery shopping.
Content/warnings: M-preg.
Words: 362
Disclaimer: If anybody is planning a script like this for SG-1, I'm certainly not going to claim any rights to it. However, I'd be delighted to work in a co-writing/consulting/first-reader/advisory-type capacity, with my fee to be negotiated at that time. :D
Archive rights: Absolutely none. My journals only. muck_a_luck and brainofck
Note: Written for that prompt thing. This is for green_grrl, who requested Smart-Assed Daniel and Jack.
The Matrix: Food. The Matrix is located here.



"You know, you shouldn't let my current medical status lull you into a false sense of security," said Jack, rounding the corner from the kitchen, belly first, of course. He appeared to be waving... a pint of ice cream? Daniel squinted over the top of his laptop screen.

"Just because I'm eight and one half months pregnant doesn't mean that I don't now how to kill you seventeen different ways with my bare hands."

"Yeah, but you have to catch me first and you aren't as stealthy as you once were," Daniel retorted with a grin. Though he also decided that caution was the better part of valor, moving back as Jack advanced on him.

If Jack started yelling, "You did this to me!!!" the situation could get ugly.

"Not as stealthy?!?!" Jack spluttered. "Oh, you will so pay for that one, Jackson. I'll show you stealthy, you little bastard."

He turned on his heel, and stalked (as best he could manage, though he still hadn't gotten the knack of being that front-heavy and his "stalk" contained a large component of "lumber") back to their bedroom, ice cream in hand.

Jack might be on leave, but Daniel had a mission in the morning and vital texts to translate before they could safely proceed. He sighed and went to the kitchen for more coffee.

---

Late, late, late.

He had finished the texts, given the necessary intel to the General, gotten the go ahead for the mission and now they were rushing madly to make the necessary departure window.

He reached in to his locker and yanked on his hat.

Which was filled with something cold and wet. And lumpy.

Swearing every curse word he could think of in every language he had ever learned, he yanked the boonie off again.

The substance was seeping through his hair and running down his forehead and into his eyes.

His hat was full of half melted ice cream and... were those pretzels?

His gaze fell to the bench by his locker door.

And there was the other half of a pint of Chubby Hubby.

Next to it was a note that said, simply, "Seventeen ways."



Image credits to the Department of the Air Force, MGM studios, RDA, and green_grrl

Comments

[lt-kitty.livejournal.com]

You are all KINDS of evil.

[green-grrl.livejournal.com]

*laughing with a really unattractive snort*

Lumbering stalk!!!! Hee!!!! Chubby Hubby, indeed. :-D

If Jack started yelling, "You did this to me!!!" the situation could get ugly.

Oh, it's a good thing Jack won't be doing traditional labor. ;-)

I am GLEEFUL, GLEEFUL I tell you, at the fruits of my corruption!

[cocoajava.livejournal.com]

Bahahahahahahaha! Excellent! I fear the other sixteen ways!!!

[l-jade.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the good laugh. I needed that :)

[pixie-hollow.livejournal.com]

absolutely PERFECT thing to read just before going to bed. You are ten times of awesome

[oc-pixie.livejournal.com]

*dies laughing* THAT was hysterical!

[wildannuette.livejournal.com]

*lmao* very cool *grins*

[reona32.livejournal.com]

Is there really a type of ice cream called Chubby Hubby?

[billystarpip.livejournal.com]

Now that was pure J/D! I love it! Lol...17 ways! *snicker*

[nangi-akki.livejournal.com]

truly hilarious -and the pic as well. kudos to the pic maker who took the time to make sure the hand was that unmistakable RDA hand. i could recognize that thumb anywhere :)

[teddibear.livejournal.com]

I HATE MPREG! And yet that was hilarious. But honestly I would see Daniel as the pregnant one. But OMG, that was too funny and so them! *snerk* Chubby Hubby indeed. LOL, so Daniel insulted his boy eh? Hee. Jack should get him Chunky Monkey. *snerk*

You're terrible. Hee.

[spacemonkeyphd2.livejournal.com]

LMAO *giggle snort* that was hilarious, too funny!! I need more please, sick twisted little Monkey that I am. I find mpreg funny at the best of times but this was GREAT!!

Thanks for sharing!!

[zats-clear.livejournal.com]

aren't there rules about assbabies? aren't there whole legions of fans against assbabies? guess I'm not in that room!

you are truly wicked!

aren't as stealthy...oh, I love that! reminds me of things my husband dared to say to me while i was in labor and delivery, giving birth to his sons, dammit

[prehistoric-sea.livejournal.com]

Awesome :-)

[freyasboy]

Only just found this. It's so good. I love it. I'd just LOVE to know about the other 16!!! Thanks. xx