Self-indulgent muttering and self-criticism

[brainofck]

I have never remixed before. But I signed up for the gateverse_remix with cautious enthusiasm.

Here is a true story.

Ever since I read it, in my mind, throwing pebbles up the mountain has been the benchmark for the perfect J/D first time story. Angst. Love. Uncertainty. Uncertain ending. Both of them a little off balance. For me, it really is perfect in almost every possible way.

I hesitated to sign up for the remix after I heard about it for several days, because I had an unrealistic, crazy fear that if I signed up, I would have to remix THAT story.

But the idea of doing the remix was too interesting, and finally I said, Get a grip, BRAIN! You will not have to remix throwing pebbles up the mountain, jeez!!!!

So.

On the morning I got my remix assignment, I had a small, horrified, flattered, panicked moment when I realized that synecdochic, who was organizing the remix event, had assigned me HERSELF to remix. Wow! I've never done this! And I wondered if she had actually PICKED me to remix her, or if that is just how it worked out. Becuase I organized that OT3 event last year, and I know how hard it can be to hook up the right writer with the right request. Still. It felt like a big responsibility. An extra expectation to live up to.

Also, I had this nagging feeing that her name was really, really familiar...

THEN.

I clicked over to her SG-1 page and almost had a heart attack.

But weirdly, after a few hours of spazzing, I started looking over the options, and I clicked on like water, lying and started re-reading it, and THANK YOU GOD, Jack started talking to me almost right away.

So I was feeling pretty good. Lots of ideas. It would work. But...

There was a lot of the Eurydiceverse that I had not seen. And I already had the idea that I wanted Cam to be wrong about a lot of what was going on in Jack's head during like water, lying, but I wanted to see if synecdochic had given us any insights into Jack, Daniel, or their relationship that I had missed. So I started reading.

And then I hit on Grace Notes.

And that Jack was SO not the Jack I was writing. I swear, I read it and almost cried. Not the right Jack. Not, NOT, NOT. Her Jack is sort of at peace with his realtionship with Daniel. He's let Daniel go, lets Daniel come to him, doesn't obsess with Daniel anymore. Their relationship has broken him, or nearly, and he has stepped back from it, using the distance between them as a shield.

My Jack is SO still in the Daniel game.

I was having a freak out til I realized. Duh. Remix. *rolls eyes at self*

Anyway, so there's my remix experience, in a nutshell. I am actually pretty happy with how it came out, especially considering the RL time constraints I have been under. I should extend a special thank you to Little Sister, who kindly slept in the past several days, letting me get up at godawful early hours on Saturday, Sunday, Monday and today to write and edit. Another special thanks to green_grrl, who's excellent edit and suggestions were the only reason I was able to post this morning, so quickly after realizing I had the deadline wrong.

Will I remix again? That remains to be seen. Remixing is hard work. But it was fun.

Comments

[synecdochic]

Okay, yeah, confession time, I did pick you directly, because I really love your writing and I totally wanted to see what you'd do with my stuff. *g*

And I've already flailed around in your comments about how utterly perfect your take on Jack was, and you know, I was actually kind of hoping someone would take on Eurydiceverse Jack, because see, the thing is, I know exactly what happened with him and Daniel over the years; I just haven't been able to write any of it, because it's all so complex and complicated and emotionally layered that I'm scared of taking it on. And on the one hand it's like you were reading my mind -- because yes, your take on what Jack's thinking is almost exactly what mine is in places -- and on the other hand, it's a total surprise in others, but it's a surprise in the ways that make me just stop and go oh, because it's real. It all clicks together and it's just perfect.

You did a stunning job with this story. Seriously. I love, love, love remixes of any story, because I love getting different perspectives, and I really love remixes of stuff I've written, because I love seeing what people take and what they emphasize, and really, I don't have words for how fucking awesomely cool this is.

[brainofck.livejournal.com]

I did pick you directly

*blushes*

*scuffs shoe*

It makes me very happy that you weren't disappointed. :D Sorry I was doing my best to flake on you. *dope slaps self*

I hope you will manage more of Jack and Daniel's story. We all wait with bated breath! :)

[synecdochic]

Oh, I will, absolutely! I have ... *counts on fingers* six more planned stories for that universe, at least, and I'm sure there's going to be more after that. (And I welcome other people writing in that 'verse, too, if they want.) It's just such an interesting dynamic, with all of them -- it's all so complex and messy and fun. :)